Phule’s Company by Robert Asprin

The sudden crash of chairs being knocked about and voices raised in cheers and catcalls drew the attention of everyone in the room, at least momentarily. That was all the time it took for most of the company to realize it was only Super Gnat on another one of her rampages and return to whatever they were doing before.

Super Gnat was the smallest Legionnaire in the company, and had a fiery temper that exploded at any provocation, real or imagined. In particular, she was sensitive to any comments made about her height … or lack thereof.

“I wonder what set the Gnat off this time?” Brandy mused, half to herself.

“Who knows?” one of her listeners said. “The other day she jumped me in the chow line at breakfast. All I did was ask the cook for a short stack of pancakes.”

“That sounds like her.” The top sergeant nodded as the others chuckled appreciatively. “You know, with as much fighting as the little runt does, you’d think she’d be better at it: Look at that.”

The Legionnaire under attack was laughing openly, keeping Super Gnat at arm’s length by the simple tactic of holding his hand on the top of her head as she flailed away blindly with her fists.

Brandy shook her head sadly.

“It looks more like a schoolyard than a Space Legion company. That’s what I was starting to say about Omega Companies. Counting up all the oddballs and basket cases we’ve got in this outfit, it’s a cinch that-“

“Ten-HUT.”

Lieutenant Armstrong’s voice reverberated off the walls, but no one paid it much heed. He was rumored to be a reject from the Regular Army, and had never rid himself of the reflex of calling a room to attention when a superior officer entered.

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