Phule’s Company by Robert Asprin

“That brings us to another point. I don’t know what plans any of you have for life after your enlistment is up, or if you’re saving any of your wages toward that day. I do know that if you aren’t preparing yourself financially, you should. Well, handling money is something I do well, and I hereby place that skill at the disposal of the company … just as I hope some of you will be willing to use your strengths and skills, however praiseworthy or dubious, to the benefit of all. I will be opening a portfolio of stocks to enable any of you who wish to participate to invest your savings or whatever portion of your pay you wish to assign to that purpose. While I can’t guarantee success, I have never managed a portfolio that lost money. Personally I would suggest setting aside one third of your wages for this purpose, but again the amount is completely up to you, as is your participation at all. If any of you have questions on this, feel free to talk to me during breaks or off-duty hours.”

The captain surveyed the room again.

“While there’s a lot more to cover, it can wait. I just wanted you all to get an idea of who I was and what I had in mind for this unit. We all know, however, that talk is cheap, and I’m sure you’re all more interested in my actions rather than my words, so I’ll keep the speeches to a minimum for the time being.”

“I’ll be meeting with each of the officers and cadre members in my office after we finish here. Are there any immediate questions before we break up?”

There was a low buzz among the Legionnaires, then a voice floated up clearly from the back.

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