Phule’s Company by Robert Asprin

“Uh-oh. Thought this was sounding a little too good to be true. “

“First of all,” the commander continued, ignoring the sergeant’s theatric aside, “I don’t want you to sell anything that will come back to haunt us. If you make a deal for our automatic weapons, make sure it’s after you’ve removed the selector switch that converts them to fully automatic-and that doesn’t mean you have a sale on selector switches the next week. Our gear may be antique, but there’s a lot of it I’d just as soon not have used against us … or the local police, for that matter. It’ll be a bit difficult to play innocent if we’re the only source on the planet for fully automatic hardware. That goes double for the new gear we’re getting, including our wrist communicators. I suppose you can let a few of the regular units stray if it means opening the right doors, but the extra command units stay put. I don’t want anyone but us to have the capacity to monitor the private lines. For that matter, if you think a bit, I’m sure you’ll agree that it would be in your own best interest if no one could listen in to some of the private talks you and I will be having.”

The supply sergeant made a face. “I suppose you’re right, but it’s gonna cramp my maneuvering a mite.”

“Rule number two: The monies from these sales get channeled into the company fund. Now, I don’t mind if you do a little skimming for your trouble … in fact, I expect it and consider it only fair reward for devoting a portion of your personal time to helping further the company. Just do a reasonable job of doctoring the receipts for the files, and you’ll hear no complaints from me. Remember, though, that I have a fair idea of what the going prices of things are, even on the black market. If I get wind of your taking more than a fair commission, I’ll cut you off cold.”

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