Phule’s Company by Robert Asprin

“Yeah. Whatever. I was just wondering … could you fill us in a little on the new commander? It sounds like you two have been together for a while.”

“Certainly, sir,” Beeker said, folding the screen and slipping the computer into his pocket. “Of course, you realize that my relationship with my employer is of a confidential manner, and that as such I feel at liberty to voice my personal opinions only. “

“Say what?”

“What the man’s saying,” Brandy put in from the other side of the limo, turning her attention from staring out the window to the conversation the other occupants were already listening to with rapt interest, “is that he’s not going to blab any secrets or details … just what he thinks himself.”

“Oh. Okay.”

“Please be assured, however, that I will treat whatever discussions we might have now or in the future with equal confidentiality. “

The Legionnaire turned helplessly to Brandy.

“He means he won’t blab what you say, either.”

“Right. Well, Mr… . All I want to know, Beeker, is if that guy’s for real. I mean, he talks a good line and all, but how much of it’s hot air? That’s it, plain and simple … and I’d want you to try ‘n’ lay off the big words while you answer so’s I can understand without havin’ it translated.”

“I see,” Beeker said, tapping his finger against his leg thoughtfully. “If I understand correctly, you’re asking if my employer … your commander … can be trusted. To the best of my knowledge, he’s always been scrupulously-excuse me, painfully-fair in all his dealings, both business and personal. As to his reliability … well, I don’t think it’s breaking any confidence to point out what the most casual observer would note in short order: that he’s seriously unbalanced.”

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