Phule’s Paradise by Robert Asprin

As, far as Huey was concerned, that was all they were good for, and even there he firmly believed the job could be done better by models in hula skirts. Models would be more fun to look at, and cheaper.

A familiar figure entering the casino caught his eye, and Huey realized it was time for him to slip out of the complex for a walk. It would be best if he wasn’t on the premises for what he had been warned was about to transpire.

Contrary to popular belief, planned violence is usually much more effective than the spontaneous, berserker variety. The main difficulty, of course, was finding personnel capable of the former. Ward Stilman, Maxine’s field general when it came to physical action, had thought long and hard before selecting just who he wanted to carry out this mission. Lobo was far and away the best choice.

Though not particularly imposing physically, Lobo’s work as a baggage handler at the spaceport had given his long, simian arms deceptive strength. Even more important for this assignment, however, was his eerie ability to soak up punishment without apparently feeling it or losing his head. In fact, he was something of a minor legend on Lorelei after he successfully took on three soldiers on leave in a fight. The brawl had lasted nearly fifteen minutes-long for a no-holds-barred dispute-but at the end of it Lobo had emerged victorious, though more than a little battered, while his opponents had to be carried to the Lorelei hospital.

The job as given to him by Stilman was simple enough, though slightly puzzling. He was supposed to try to goad one of the Legionnaire guards into a fight, both to test their effectiveness as fighters and to see how much provocation was necessary for them to take action. Above all, Lobo had been cautioned numerous times not to strike the first blow-not to fight back at all, for that matter. Supposedly this was to minimize the chance that the Legionnaires would simply resort to using the tranquilizer dart sidearms they were carrying, and instead be forced to try to subdue him physically.

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