Phule’s Paradise by Robert Asprin

“She’ll certainly be missed,” the aide commented, fishing for more information.

“She’ll be missed more by some than others,” Blitzkrieg said darkly, his smile tightening a bit.

“Sir?”

“The colonel is a fine officer and administrator,” the general said, “as fine as any you’d find in the Regular Army. Still, she’s human-and a woman at that-and tends to form attachments to certain individuals and units under her command It’s only natural that she use her position to campaign in their behalf here at Headquarters, as well as sheltering them when they foul up.”

“I suppose so, sir,” the aide said, suddenly uneasy about commenting on the performance of a senior officer.

“Well, that’s about to change,” the general declared, sinking into the chair behind his desk. “While she’s on vacation most of her duties will be absorbed by other officers here at Headquarters, but I’ve set it up so that one unit in particular will report directly to me in her absence.”

“Which unit is that, sir?”

Blitzkrieg’s eyes fixed on a spot on the far wall like he was a hungry toad tracking a fly.

“I’m talking about Captain Jester and that Omega Mob of his.”

Suddenly the aide could see the situation clearly.

It was well known around Headquarters that General Blitzkrieg had recently had his heart set on court-martialing Captain Jester for his actions upon taking over an Omega company-a company specifically formed to handle military misfits unsuited for even the Legion’s loose standards and guidelines. Exact details were unknown, but the renegade captain had emerged from the incident not only unscathed but with a commendation for himself and his entire unit. Speculation as to how this was accomplished ran high, though many suspected that it had something to do with the fact that before enlisting and taking the name “Jester,” the captain had been one Willard Phule, one of the universe’s youngest megamillionaires and heir apparent to the vast Phule-Proof Munitions empire. This latter piece of information became known when Jester ignored the Legion’s tradition of anonymity through pseudonym and exposed his true identity and origins to the media, thereby focusing unprecedented public attention on himself, his unit, and the Legion as a whole. The media loved it, but apparently the general didn’t.

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