Phule’s Paradise by Robert Asprin

“A distraction, eh? Well, that’s something,” the actress murmured.

“Excuse me?”

“What? Oh, nothing.” She managed to let him see her close one eyelid in a broad wink. “At least now I know what it takes for a girl to get you into her bedroom.”

The smile disappeared from Phule’s face as if someone had turned out the light.

“Since you’re awake, Tiffany, I wanted to tell you not to worry about … about the damage to your face. I’ve already put in a call for a plastic surgeon, and we’ll be covering all the expenses and continuing your salary for however long it takes to erase any trace of what’s happened.”

“I know. The doctor told me, except …” The actress turned her face toward the commander. “You know, it’s funny. I was still groggy from the painkillers he gave me, but I think he said something about Maxine Pruet covering all the expenses.”

Phule’s expression tightened slightly.

“I know,” he said. “I was told the same thing. We’ll see about that. You just get some rest and concentrate on getting better and don’t worry about where the money is coming from. I’ll take care of dealing with Mrs. Pruet.”

He started to ease toward the door.

“In the meantime,” he continued, forcing a lighter tone into his voice, “be sure to let me know if there’s anything I can do.”

“Well … there is one thing, Captain.”

“What’s that?”

“When you talk to the surgeon … Is there any chance he could do a little work on my nose at the same time? I’ve always thought it was too big, and since he’ll be operating, anyway …” She let her voice trail off.

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