Phule’s Paradise by Robert Asprin

“Okay, gather ’round!” she called back over her shoulder. “Now, the corridor runs here, parallel to the three rooms. Sushi, do you know if they’ve moved the furniture at all, or is it like it is here in the plans?”

“Let me see,” the Oriental said, moving to her side for a better view of the floor plans. “I only saw the living room area, but-“

“What’s going on here?”

Colonel Battleax was standing in the doorway. Still dressed in her bat-wing black dress and towering in her anger despite her diminutive size, she might have been a demon from an opera production as she dominated the room with her voice and presence.

The Legionnaires froze in their places. While they had all heard that the colonel was in the complex, no one had expected her to appear at their meeting.

“My God! This looks like an armament trade show! I don’t even recognize half these weapons!”

While it was well known that Willard Phule was supplementing the company’s equipment from his personal fortune, what was not as widely known was that he was also using his connection with his munitions-baron father to obtain new weaponry which was still in the testing stages and not yet known, much less available, to the general market.

“Do I need to remind you all that you’re Space Legionnaires and have only limited authority for using reasonable force on civilians?”

The company exchanged nervous glances, but still no one moved.

“Well, this Wild West show is going to stop RIGHT NOW! I’m ordering you to turn in all arms other than sidearms, and-“

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