Phule’s Paradise by Robert Asprin

“You do?”

“I never leave home without one, kid, even if I only end up using it for a reference.” Lex winked. “As you can see, there’s no telling when your next job might pop up.”

In short order, the meeting had broken down into a number of small groups, each working out the details of their own portion of the operation. Conversation ebbed and swirled as small arguments broke out over one specific or other, but these were quickly smoothed over. Despite their occasional differences, everyone was united behind one objective-to free their captain before any harm came to him-and there was simply no time to indulge in petty bickering.

“I know there are holes in it,” Lex was saying to Dee Dee. “I just thought you’d rather have some kind of contract. If you want, we can do this on scout’s honor.”

“Not a chance,” the starlet said. “But really, Lex, this contract is for a series, not a movie.”

“It’s a fast copy of my last contract,” the actor explained, “which happened to be for a series. We don’t have time to put together a new agreement from scratch. Think of it as being for a series of movies.”

“At these prices? Not bloody likely,” Dee Dee said with a snort.

“I keep telling you, love, there’s no actual movie involved. We just want to make a bit of noise and clutter so that the tourists will think we’re making a movie.”

“Even so, I’m worth ten times what’s being offered here.”

Lex flashed a wide smile at her.

“Oh, come on, ducks. Maybe the rabble will believe that, if you plant it in enough columns, but you and I both know that if you could command those kinds of prices, you wouldn’t be doing a lounge act right now.”

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