Phule’s Paradise by Robert Asprin

“Well, can I assume that someone is going to search the waiter?” Maxine prompted, making no effort to hide her annoyance. “And will you please shut that door!”

The guards hastened to carry out her bidding.

“And while you’re at it, check to see if there’s anything besides food on those covered plates.”

The guard who had just finished searching the waiter started to reach for one of the metal covers on the cart, but the waiter knocked his hand away in a sudden show of anger.

“Do not touch the food,” he snarled. “I fix myself for the captain. Here … I show you plates.”

Startled by this abrupt display, the guard stepped back.

“Just a moment!” Maxine said, rising to her feet. “Did you say that you prepared the food? And how did you know …”

Her eyes darted to the door to the corridor.

“For that matter,” she said, “isn’t there supposed to be a guard outside that door? Would somebody please check to see …”

A shrill noise interrupted her.

All eyes turned toward Beeker, as the butler glanced at his wrist communicator, from which the sound was emanating.

“I’m afraid it’s too late for that,” he said calmly, carefully hitching up his trouser legs before sitting abruptly on the floor. “In fact, I would strongly suggest that no one in the room have any portion of their persons above the height of waist level when the sound stops. If you’d, care to join me, sir?”

Without hesitation, Phule slid off his chair to lie beside the waiter, who was already squatting next to the service cart.

“What in the world …?”

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