Phule’s Paradise by Robert Asprin

The general looked startled.

“Oh … I didn’t realize … of course. Anything else I have can wait until a more convenient time. Good night, Colonel … Captain. Be sure to let me know when the new recruits arrive.”

“Wait a minute. New Recruits?” Phule was suddenly alert. “Excuse me, General Blitzkrieg, but I thought you agreed to hold off on any new recruits or transfers until I had a chance to get my outfit into shape.”

“I did,” Blitzkrieg said with an evil grin. “But I don’t think you object to these-most of them, anyway. The others, you can’t object to.”

“Could you explain that a little more, sir?”

“Well … I don’t want to intrude, so I’ll keep this short. You’re getting a trio of Gambolts … you know, the Cats?

They’re the first Gambolts to ever enlist in the Space Legion instead of joining their own unit in the Regular Army-which is a feather in our cap-but they signed on under the express condition that they be assigned to your unit. It seems your showboating for the media is finally paying some dividends.”

“I suppose that if-“

“The next one isn’t really a recruit,” the general continued. “He’s an observer, sent by the Zenobians to study our tactics and ethics prior to their signing a treaty with us. You remember the Zenobians, don’t you, Captain? Those little lizards you tangled with back in Haskin’s Planet?”

“Of course, sir. I …”

“Since you were the first human to make contact with them, the government felt, and I agreed with them, that you would be the logical choice to deal with their observer. He remembers you, by the way. Even asked for you by name … except he remembers it as `Captain Clown.'”

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