Phule’s Paradise by Robert Asprin

“Oh … Hi, Becker. Come on in. I want your opinion on something.”

Willard Phule was sprawled in a chair, his lanky form the picture of casual relaxation. To the butler, however, this pose conveyed the exact opposite message. Normally Phule was the embodiment of nervous energy during the day, constantly pacing and fidgeting as he tried to do or consider a dozen things at once. For him to sit still, as he was doing now, required a crisis of monumental proportions, one which-would put all other worries and tasks on a back burner while he weighed and considered the immediate problem. In short, anytime he seemed relaxed physically, it meant that he was racing about mentally.

“Is there a problem, sir?” Becker prompted, pointedly closing the door behind him.

“You might say that. I just got a call from Headquarters giving us a new assignment, and-“

“Is that a new assignment for the entire company, or just for the two of us?” the butler interrupted.

“What? Oh. For the entire company. Why?”

“You might want to announce that to your command as soon as possible, sir. They seemed quite anxious when I passed though the pool area just now.”

“I don’t know,” Phule said, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. “I was planning to wait until I had a better fix on this new assignment before announcing it. It’s always nice to have the information clear yourself before opening the door to questions and answers.”

“If you’ll forgive my saying so, sir, I really think you should say something to quiet their minds. They’re aware that a call has come in from Headquarters, and many of them are concerned that you are being removed from the command of this unit.”

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