Pilgrim by Sara Douglas

Askam, it is that people will willingly tear out their hearts for a man who will do rather than expect. ‖

―I expected loyalty,‖ Askam said flatly, ―and I received nothing but treachery. Even from

my sister, who I should have been able to trust more than anyone else. But you? You prostituted

yourself for a crown.‖

Leagh flinched. She tried to think of something to say, then finally turned her back and

walked away.

Askam watched her disappear among the trees, then stood by his horse thinking for a

long time. Eventually he retraced his steps until he found Jaspar, and the sergeant-at-arms now

standing with him.

―My friends,‖ he said, ―I need to have a word with you. It seems we find ourselves

among a nest of traitors. If you care for your wife and children, waiting, vulnerable in Carlon,

then you will listen well to what I have to say.‖

Drago and Faraday did not linger. They told Zared they needed to move north as soon as

they could.

―Deal with whatever you find as best you can, Zared,‖ Drago said.

―And this Sanctuary?‖

―I will send word as soon as I can.‖

―Do not delay it, Drago.‖

―Be prepared, Zared.‖

Zared sighed. ―Do you need supplies?‖

Drago nodded. ―I would appreciate it. Who knows what we will be able to scavenge from

the plains?‖

―Why not stay within the forest for a while?‖

―We need to move fast, Zared.‖

As do you. The words hung between them, and Zared stared at Drago a moment before

moving off.

Drago smoothed his hair with both hands, wishing he had the time and opportunity to

bathe and shave. Gods! How many days since he‘d been able to shave? He ran a hand over the

stubble on his chin, and grimaced. Enchanted forests were all very well, but Drago truly thought

he would gladly bargain one of Faraday‘s donkeys for an hour in a marbled and steamy

bathroom.

As if in direct response to his thought, there was an indignant bray to one side, and Drago

turned to look.

Faraday had gone to harness the donkeys to the blue cart—but with obvious lack of

success.

Leather harness lay strewn about the clearing, and the cart itself had somehow lost a

wheel and was leaning drunkenly to one side. As Drago watched, it creaked, trembled, and then

fell apart completely.

Faraday jumped back, tripped over one of the harness collars lying on the ground, and

fell over.

Drago walked over and helped her to her feet. ―What‘s going on?‖

―I…I don‘t know!‖ Faraday raised both hands, then let them fall helplessly to her sides

again.

The donkeys had retreated several paces, and were now staring at both Drago and

Faraday with patent stubbornness.

For his part, Drago studied Faraday. Over the past two weeks since he‘d returned through

the Star Gate, he‘d never seen her anything but calm and sure of herself. Now her cheeks were

flushed, her hair in disarray, and her eyes bright—with tears, Drago realised with a start.

―Faraday?‖ She jumped as a soft hand fell on her shoulder.

Zenith.

As Drago had done, Zenith stared about her, unable to believe what she was seeing. The

donkeys adored Faraday. They had comforted her during the time Faraday had planted out

Minstrelsea, and Zenith herself had seen their devotion to the woman on their trip from Ysbadd

to the Ancient Barrows.

Zenith looked at Drago, registering his own shock.

―The cart just fell apart,‖ Faraday said. ―It just fell apart!‖

―Shush,‖ Drago said, and took one of her hands between his. ―Both cart and donkeys

doubtless have their reasons.‖

Faraday made a helpless gesture with her other hand, and a tear ran down her cheek.

Drago looked impotently at Zenith.

―And the donkeys kicked at me,‖ Faraday whispered.

Zenith glanced at her brother, then wrapped an arm about Faraday. ―Hush, Faraday.

Drago is right. They have their reasons.‖

―But to kick!‖

Drago dropped Faraday‘s hand, not knowing what to do. He watched Zenith rock the

woman to and fro, crooning to her, and then heard a step behind him and turned, grateful for the

interruption.

Zared, his face puzzled, an eyebrow raised. ―Do you want horses, Drago?‖

Drago started to nod, then stopped himself. ―No,‖ he said, and wondered why he said

that. Why refuse horses? ―We will walk. It is what the donkeys want us to do.‖

The donkeys relaxed, their ears flopping, and each shifted their weight onto one of their

hind legs, resting the other.

The feathered lizard suddenly appeared, investigating the wreckage of the cart. It rippled

sinuously between the spokes of one of the wheels, and then disappeared under the tray.

―We will walk,‖ Drago repeated softly, watching the donkeys.

Faraday walked slowly into the grove. It hardly deserved the name, for it was only some

three paces across and four or five deep, but it was beautiful nonetheless, with heavy-scented

scarlet brambry bushes and clumps of spiked blue and pink rheannies filling the spaces between

the trees.

Isfrael was standing in the shadows at the far end of the grove.

―It has been so long,‖ Faraday said softly. She felt like weeping. Seeing him standing

here within the forest made her remember vividly the betrayal in which he‘d been

conceived—those glorious eight days with Axis when she‘d thought to become his wife, while

he‘d thought of his mistress, Azhure—and the pain and misery of crawling on her hands and

knees across half of Tencendor, her belly heavy with her baby, replanting the forests.

The agony of his birth in the Sacred Groves. The far deeper agony of saying goodbye to

the infant to fulfil her destiny in dying for the Prophecy.

Azhure and Axis had raised him. Not Faraday.

Faraday had been left to wander the forest paths as a doe, hating her confinement there,

and knowing that she slipped from everyone‘s minds, including her son‘s. It was difficult to

reconcile the knowledge that she‘d been relegated to legend, with the need to live… live! …and

hold her son for just one day in her arms.

Spending brief hours with him in Niah‘s Grove when Isfrael had been a child had not

been enough, for either of them.

―Mother,‖ he said, and took a step forward into a shaft of sunlight.

She drew her breath in. In his own strange way he did remind her of Axis, although his

wildness was all Avar. His hair was the same faded blonde, the musculature of his chest and

arms…his hands. He had Axis‘ hands.

Faraday stared at them, remembering how Axis had touched her, and betrayed her with

that touch.

―Why did you leave the forests to walk with Drago?‖ Isfrael asked.

Faraday walked forward a few steps until she was within a pace of her son. ―You know

why.‖

He nodded. ―WingRidge told me who he was. But why did you leave the forests?‖

Faraday thought about telling Isfrael of how the Sceptre had pulled her to Drago, and

thence to the Ancient Barrows.

She thought of telling Isfrael how Drago had saved her with the Rainbow Sceptre, when

Axis had refused to use it to save her from Gorgrael. She thought of telling him about Noah, and

her promises to him.

But none of this did she say.

―Because I think I can help,‖ she said eventually, speaking such a colourless truth it was

almost a lie. She dropped her eyes to her hands clasped in front of her.

―So you would walk with Drago,‖ Isfrael said, folding his arms across his chest, ―but you

would not walk to my cradle when I was an infant and croon me to sleep?‖

―Isfrael, I have hardly had a choice in what—‖

―I wish,‖ Isfrael said, and his voice was wistful, almost tender, through its bitterness, ―I

wish that just once during my childhood you had been there to rock me to sleep. I wish you had

cared that much.‖

―I have loved you with all my being—‖

―No. No, you cared more for those donkeys than you have for me. No wonder Axis

preferred Azhure‘s love to yours.‖

He paused, and his lip curled slightly. ―You have no place in my life, Faraday. As you

deserted me as an infant, as you deserted Shra to her death, so now I abandon you.‖

And he turned and walked into the trees.

Faraday stood and stared at the spot where he had disappeared, absolutely stricken.

It was not my fault, she wanted to cry, but…but was it her fault? Could she have aided Shra? No, no, there was nothing she could have done.

But the other accusation hurt more, because Faraday felt so guilty about it.

Should she have stayed within the Sacred Grove with her son and let Azhure die in her

place? If she had, things would not be much different now, would they? Gorgrael would be here

to face the TimeKeepers and Qeteb instead of Axis, and Gorgrael would be as powerless as Axis

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