Pilgrim by Sara Douglas

―We must contact Zared,‖ Zenith said, ―and work out how best to get the Acharites into

this shelter.‖

Drago nodded, too absorbed in his own thoughts to notice that Faraday was sitting stiffly,

her eyes lost in some distant memory.

―We also, somehow, need to persuade Isfrael that the Avar need the shelter of Sanctuary.

The forests will—‖

―The forests will die?‖ Faraday suddenly asked, her voice brittle.

―Faraday,‖ Drago said gently, finally catching some of her mood. ―The Demons hate the

forests, and while they cannot do much about them now, once Qeteb is risen they will work to

make sure every leaf is stripped from every tree. The Avar can shelter under their shade for now,

but…Faraday, you knew this.‖

―Ah!‖ Zenith said, far too brightly, ―here comes WingRidge, no doubt with news about

the length of the lines of Icarii above.‖

Later, Drago wandered slowly up to Faraday, who was seated on the ground with Katie,

combing out the child‘s hair.

He smiled and squatted down beside them, and thought to make some light conversation,

but even as he opened his mouth he was forestalled by an angry shout.

―Drago!‖

Drago cursed silently and stood up.

It was Isfrael, his face dark with hatred and loathing, and for one dreadful moment Drago

thought it was directed at him for daring to sit so close to his mother.

But Isfrael had other concerns on his mind. ―WolfStar has been spotted lurking among

the trees surrounding Fernbrake Lake.‖

Faraday rose, and pushed Katie behind her skirts, as if WolfStar would this moment

appear and snatch the child.

Drago saw StarDrifter and Zenith nearby. His sister had blanched whiter than

StarDrifter‘s wing feathers and StarDrifter was standing awkwardly, as if he did not know whether to comfort Zenith or not.

―Zenith,‖ Drago said. ―WolfStar shall not harm you again, I swear it. I will not allow him

to cross the bridge. Do you believe me?‖

He had taken her hands in his, and now gave them a slight shake. Zenith nodded

miserably, and Drago turned to Faraday.

―Faraday, will you…?‖

Faraday put her arms about Zenith. ―I will look after her.‖

Drago turned back to Isfrael. ―Where?‖

Isfrael opened his mouth, but was not given the chance to speak.

―I‘m coming, too,‖ StarDrifter said. His entire stance radiated aggressive anger.

Drago hesitated, then nodded. ―Why not?‖ he said.

Isfrael‘s mouth twisted wryly as he looked at StarDrifter—the Mother only knew what

WolfStar would do to StarDrifter!—then he turned and led the other two back towards the

bridge, pushing through the Icarii still coming across.

―Come on,‖ Faraday said gently, putting her arm about Zenith‘s waist. ―We can move

further back into Sanctuary, if you like.‖

Zenith let Faraday lead her down a path towards a group of farrah fruit trees encircling a

small, still pond that reflected the myriad of dragonflies and butterflies that hovered and danced

above its surface.

Katie walked silently to Zenith‘s other side and slipped a hand into the birdwoman‘s.

Zenith, surprised, looked down and gave the girl a hesitant smile.

Katie smiled back, and squeezed Zenith‘s hand.

―She is a lovely girl,‖ Zenith said.

―Yes,‖ Faraday said. She looked at Katie, loving her, and loving what she had brought

into Faraday‘s life.

The sweetness of a child curled up against her breast at night. The exultation in knowing

that it was to her that Katie would run whenever she had a question or needed reassurance. The

sheer, quiet joy of Katie‘s laughter and the delight of her kiss as she wrapped her arms about

Faraday‘s neck.

Faraday felt more protective of Katie than she did of anything or anyone else, although

she did not know if that was because she‘d been denied the love of her son, or because there was

something innately special and magical about Katie that cried out to something deep in Faraday‘s

soul.

Faraday knew she would kill without hesitation anyone or anything that threatened Katie,

and she gloried in that protective instinct.

―You adore her,‖ Zenith said as they sank down under one of the farrah trees and

watched Katie chase butterflies about the pond.

―You cannot know how much,‖ Faraday said in a low tone, and, watching Faraday‘s face,

Zenith realised the strength and determination of the woman‘s love and fierce protectiveness.

―Where did she come from?‖ Zenith asked, and Faraday told her of how Katie had cried

disconsolately in her dreams night after night, ―Until I cried myself.‖ Then Faraday spoke of

how she and Drago had discovered the girl wrapped around the Enchanted Song Book in Star

Finger‘s basement, and how Katie had run to Faraday, when she had rejected Caelum.

Faraday smiled in delight. ―Zenith, it was worth almost every hardship I have ever gone

through to watch Axis‘ face at that moment. This lovely little girl had rejected Caelum…and

chosen me.‖

Zenith stared at Faraday, taken aback by this revelation of her continuing bitterness

towards Axis. Then she shook herself, and changed the subject slightly.

―And Drago? How do you feel about him?‖ Zenith could not help but wonder what had

developed between the two. Some of the looks she‘d caught her brother sending Faraday

were…well…almost unbearably frustrated.

Faraday‘s voice tightened noticeably. ―I am here to help him, Zenith, and I will do all that

I can for him.‖

―That doesn‘t answer my question,‖ Zenith said quietly.

―I will never allow myself to love a man again,‖ Faraday said. ―How can I? All men have

ever done is abuse me, trick me, hide my fate in shadows, and then stand by to watch me die. All

for a greater cause, of course.‖

―Self-pity does not become you, either,‖ Zenith said, and Faraday whipped her head

about to look at her with flashing eyes.

―I did not sit here to hear your sanctimonious advice, Zenith!‖

―Then if you cannot trust yourself to love again, why bother clinging to life,‖ Zenith

snapped back.

Faraday took a huge breath, fighting to control her temper. ―Then why is it I see you and

StarDrifter circling each other like two callow adolescents terrified of the consequences of even

holding hands?‖

She managed to shock Zenith into silence for a moment, then Zenith looked away, her

face working, her eyes suddenly bright with tears.

―Zenith,‖ Faraday said. ―I am sorry. Please…what is wrong? I would have thought…that

you and StarDrifter…it just seems so natural that you and he…‖

―And yet it feels so wrong,‖ Zenith said, brushing her tears away with the fingers of one

hand.

Faraday remained silent, waiting.

―I have always loved and trusted StarDrifter deeply,‖ Zenith said, her voice low. She

stared past Faraday at the dragonflies dancing above the pond. ―So many people only see him as

the superficial Enchanter, concerned simply with matters of lust and bright power, but to

me…well, he has always been there for me, always willing to fight for me. Always willing to

risk his life for me.‖

―And he has always loved you.‖

―Yes. And now…when we left the Silent Woman Woods to travel north to the Minaret

Peaks we both admitted that the nature of that love had changed.‖

―But…‖

―StarDrifter has no difficulties in perceiving me as a lover—‖

Faraday repressed a small, wry smile. StarDrifter would have no difficulties in perceiving

anything vaguely female as a lover if the mood took him.

―—but,‖ Zenith finished on a whisper, ―I feel repelled by the thought of bedding with my

grandfather.‖

Faraday did not reply immediately. On the one hand she could understand Zenith‘s

misgivings, her repulsion at the thought of sleeping with her grandfather. She remembered her

own grandfather, a kindly, white-moustached man, and Faraday knew she could not even

conceive of bedding with him.

On the other hand, Faraday was more than a little surprised by Zenith‘s reaction. Faraday

well knew the SunSoar attraction each to the other, and if she had a grandfather who looked like StarDrifter, and who exuded sexual magnetism with every step…

But here was Zenith, and she was miserable, and she needed understanding, not

wide-eyed wonder that she hadn‘t leapt into StarDrifter‘s bed at the first hint of an invitation.

―I think I can understand how you feel,‖ Faraday eventually said. ―Have you talked to

StarDrifter about it? Has he been impatient with you? Has he scared you?‖

―StarDrifter has been so patient, so tender…but I have not told him how I feel. He would

only be puzzled. How could he understand how any woman, even a granddaughter, could feel

shamed by his touch?‖

Faraday could not help a laugh. StarDrifter would find it difficult, if not impossible, to

believe any woman could not find him sexually attractive. Azhure may have refused him, but

she‘d been physically drawn to him, and StarDrifter had known it. ―You must talk to him,

Zenith.‖

―I know, I know. But I feel so ashamed that I cannot do this for him. I owe it to him,

surely, after all he has done and been for me.‖

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