“And there you go,” she said, almost wistfully. “You knew I loved you.”
“I loved you, too,” I admitted. “It took me a long time to realize it. I guess I messed up, though.”
“You didn’t love me enough,” she said. “Not enough to trust me. And so you lost my trust.”
I looked away.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“Not good enough,” she responded. “Thus, we are become enemies.”
“It doesn’t have to be that way.”
“Too late,” she said. “Too late.”
“I’m sorry,” I repeated, and I hurried away.
Thus, I came to Jasra, in a red, diamond frame. Her bright-nailed hand reached out and caressed my cheek. “Going somewhere, dear boy?” she asked.
“I hope so,” I said.
She smiled crookedly and pursed her lips.
“I’ve decided you were a bad influence on my son,” she said. “He lost his edge when he became friends with you.”
“Sony about that,” I said.
“… Which may make him unfit to rule.”
“Unfit or unwilling?” I asked.
“Whichever, it will be your fault.”
“He’s a big boy now, Jasra. He makes his own decisions.”
“I fear you’ve taught him to make the wrong ones.”
“He’s his own man, lady. Don’t blame me if he does things you don’t like.”
“And if Kashfa crumbles because you’ve softened him?”
“I decline the nomination,” I said, taking a step forward. It was good that I was moving, for her hand shot out, nails raking at my face, barely missing. She threw expletives after me as I walked away. Fortunately, they were drowned amid the cries of the others.
“Merlin?”
Turning to my right again I beheld the face of Nayda within a silver mirror, its surface and curled frame of a single piece.
“Nayda! What are you down on me for?”
“Nothing,” the ty’iga lady replied. “I’m just passing through, and I need directions.”
“You don’t hate me? How refreshing!”
“Hate you? Don’t be silly. I could never do that.”
“Everyone else in this gallery seems irritated with me.”
“It’s only a dream, Merlin. You’re real, I’m real, and I don’t know about the others.”
“I’m sorry my mother put you under that spell to protect me-all those years ago. Are you really free of it now? If you’re not, perhaps I can-“
“I’m free of it.”
“I’m sorry you had so much trouble fulfilling its terms-not knowing whether it was Luke or me you were supposed to be guarding. Who’d have known there’d be two Amberites in the same neighborhood in Berkeley?”
“I’m not sorry.”
“What do you mean?”
“I came for directions. I want to know how I can find Luke.”
“Why, in Kashfa. He was just crowned king the other day. What do you need him for?”
“Hadn’t you guessed?”
“No.”
“I’m in love with him. Always was. Now that I’m free of the geas and have a body of my own, I want him to know that I was Gail-and how I feel. Thanks, Merlin. Good-bye.”
“Wait! “
“Yes?”
“I never said thanks for your protecting me all those years-even if it was only a compulsion for you, even if it got to be a big bother for me. Thanks, and good luck.”
She smiled and faded away. I reached out and touched the mirror.
“Luck,” I thought I heard her say.
Strange. It was a dream. Still-I couldn’t awaken, and: it felt real. I …
“You made it back to the Courts in time for all the scheming, I see”-this from a mirror three paces ahead, black-bound and narrow.
I moved to it. My brother Jurt glared out at me.
“What do you want?” I asked.
His face was an angry parody of my own.
“I want you never to have been,” he said. “Failing that, I’d like to see you dead.”
“What’s your third choice?” I asked.
“Your confinement to a private hell, I guess.”
“Why?”
“You stand between me and everything I want.”
“I’ll be glad to step aside. Tell me how.”
“There’s no way you can or will, on your own.”
“So you hate me?”
“Yes.”
“I thought your bath in the Fountain destroyed your emotions.”
“I didn’t get the full treatment, and it only made them stronger.”