Ten.
There came an easing. It would become difficult again at the center end, but I knew that the rest of the walk was anticlimax. Something like a slow, low music buoyed me as I trudged ahead, turned, trudged. It was with me through the Final Veil, and as I passed the midpoint of that final stride, it became something like “Caravan.”
We stood there at the center, silent for a long while, breathing deeply. Exactly what I had achieved, I was uncertain. I did feel, though, that, in some way, I knew my father better as a result. Strands of mist still drifted, across the Pattern, across the valley.
“I feel-stronger,” Luke announced later. “Yes, I’ll help guard this place. It seems a good way to spend some time.”
“By the way, Luke, what was your message for me?” I asked.
“Oh, to tell you to clear out of the Courts,” he replied, “that things were getting dangerous.”
“I already knew the danger part,” I said. “But there are still things I must do.”
He shrugged. “Well, that’s the message,” he said. “No place really seems safe just now.”
“There won’t be any problems here yet,” Corwin said. “Neither Power knows exactly how to approach this place or what to do with it. It’s too strong for Amber’s Pattern to absorb, and the Logrus doesn’t know how to destroy it.”
“Sounds pretty easy, then.”
“There will probably come a time later, though, when they will try to move against it.”
“Until then, we wait and watch. Okay. If some things do come, what might they be?”
“Probably ghosts-like ourselves-seeking to learn more about it, to test. You any good with that blade?”
“In all modesty, yes. If that’s not good enough, I’ve studied the Arts, as well.”
“They’ll fall to steel, though it’s fire they’ll bleed-not blood. You can have the Pattern transport you outside now, if you wish. I’ll join you in a few moments to show you where the weapons are cached, and the other supplies. I’d like to take a little trip and leave you in charge for a while.”
“Sure thing,” Luke said. “What about you, Merle?”
“I’ve got to get back to the Courts. I’ve a luncheon engagement with my mother, and then Swayvill’s funeral to attend.”
“It may not be able to send you all the way to the Courts,” Corwin said. “That’s getting awfully near the Logrus. But you’ll work something out with it, or vice versa. How is Dara?”
“It’s been a long time since I’ve seen her for more than a few moments,” I answered. “She is still peremptory, arrogant, and over-solicitous when it comes to me. I get the impression, too, that she may be involved in local political scheming as well as aspects of the larger relationship between the Courts and Amber.”
Luke closed his eyes for a moment and vanished. Shortly afterward, I saw him beside the Polly Jackson car. He opened the door, slid onto the passenger seat, leaned and fiddled with something inside. A little Later I could hear the radio playing music across the distance.
“It’s likely,” Corwin said. “I never understood her, you know. She came to me out of nowhere at a strange time in my life, she lied to me, we became lovers, she walked the Pattern in Amber, and she vanished. It was like a bizarre dream. It was obvious that she used me. For years I thought that it was only to get knowledge of the Pattern and access to it. But I’ve had a lot of time for reflection recently, and I’m no longer certain that that was the case.”
“Oh?” I said. “What, then?”
“You,” he replied. “More and more I’m coming to think, what she really wanted was to bear a son or daughter of Amber.”
I felt myself grow cold. Could the reason for my own existence have been such a calculated thing? Had there been no affection there at all? Had I been intentionally conceived to serve some special purpose? I did not at all like the notion. It made me feel the way Ghostwheel must; carefully structured product of my imagination and intellect, built to test design ideas only an Amberite could have come up with. Yet he called me “Dad.” He actually seemed to care about me. Oddly, I had begun feeling an irrational affection for him myself. Was it partly because we were even more alike than I had consciously realized?