“Did I?”
Her fingertips brushed his arm, and he closed his eyes at the miracle of that touch. “You tried.” Her hand trembled. “Did you love her, Kieran?”
The question hung in the air like something tangible, weighted with unspoken words and emotions he couldn’t name. He gave her what honesty he could.
“If I did,” he said, “it’s gone now.”
“Because of what she said?”
He shook his head. “Long before.”
She held his gaze. “Is Kevin your son?”
“No.”
“But he could have been,” she whispered.
For that he had no answer. Alexandra turned away. She sat down on the edge of the bed. “Funny thing about the past,” she said in a monotone. “It comes back to haunt you, whether you remember it or not.” She clasped her hands in her lap, twisting her fingers. “There are so many things we still don’t know about your past. Lori is just a small part of it. Until we find the rest—”
“It doesn’t matter,” he said. “What happened with Lori is just… more proof. Like what happened in Merritt. I don’t belong in the human world.”
Suddenly all the old fire was in her eyes. “What happened to you that you can believe such things about yourself? Who told you that you were some kind of freak who shouldn’t exist?”
He could still flinch at that, even now. He listened foil the Voice. He had never told Alexandra about it, except what it had named him. Monster. Just as Lori had. But the Voice had no comment; even the call from the northwest I was silent.
“You helped Lori,” Alexandra said. “And back in Merritt, you saved Tracy. There were probably others, many others.” All at once she knelt before him, her hands lifting, reaching, catching his own hands like fire contained in flesh. She went very still, as if she were startled by her own impulsiveness.
“Lori—” She swallowed, and her voice dropped very low. “It’s obvious that Lori loved you, Kieran.”
Kieran eased his hands free of hers. “Maybe she did, to her way. But if she loved me,” he said hoarsely, touching his chest, “it was only this part. Until she saw everything I am. Until she knew the truth.”
“That isn’t real love.”
“Then what is?”
Alexandra blinked, shielding her eyes with her lashes, leaving her hands in midair where he’d abandoned them.
“Most of the world is like Lori,” he said. “Isn’t it, Alexandra?”
Once again she didn’t argue. Not in words. But she brushed his hand with her slender fingers—hesitantly, gently, tenderly, so lightly that she had recaptured his hand before he could think to resist.
“You’re not alone, Kieran.”
His breath came thick and rough. He knew he should get up and walk away. They were too close. Once all he’d dreamed of was being able to touch her, have her touch him as she did now. Now he wanted more. Expected more than she would ever willingly give.
But he couldn’t work his hand free; she’d twined her fingers between his and held on with tenacious strength. “You’re not alone,” she repeated. “You said yourself that you sensed others like you. Somewhere.” She stared at their interlaced hands. “I promised to help you until you find all your answers. We will find them, Kieran.”
His pulse stuttered and resumed a faster beat. “Alexandra,” he sighed. He’d meant it as a warning, but it emerged as an endearment.
Her eyes lifted back to his, startled and wary. But he found himself gazing at her lips, the curve of her cheek, the push of her breasts against her skin. Her scent rose to him, warm and enticing.
It was no longer merely his heartbeat that reacted to her nearness. His groin stirred, filled, went rigid with the need to possess her. Possess, overwhelm, devour, consume utterly. His emotions were the beast within him, driving inevitably toward release.
The beast. He felt the change wake, responding to feelings he couldn’t control.
Nausea pounded in his belly. Without warning he lifted Alexandra to her feet and thrust her back, letting her go when her legs hit the bed. She stared at him, anger and humiliation radiating from her like waves of shimmering heat.