“I remember,” he said suddenly. His eyes had narrowed to slits, and he was poised on the balls of his feet. “People chasing me. With guns.”
Oh God. Alex felt her heartbeat accelerate. She could almost see Shadow superimposed over Kieran, bristling and snarling. His memories were starting to return, but they were not the most welcome ones.
“Do you remember when, or why?”
He didn’t reply, and she remembered how Shadow had come to her, weak with poison. Trespassing on man’s property and suffering man’s punishment.
“There are people here who don’t like wolves,” she said. “It’s a slow process, bringing them around. That’s why we have to be cautious.” Her words were as much for herself as Kieran; if she saw Howie after what he’d done to Shadow—and she’d no doubt he was behind the poisoning—she didn’t know what she might do.
Control, Alex. Control.
Kieran looked at her. His jaw was set, muscles moving under the skin. “What right do humans have to hate what was here before they were born?”
Hate. He spoke the word as if he knew the full measure of what it meant. As if he had experienced its curse just as she had. For a moment she felt such a powerful kinship with him that her fears vanished, and she found herself almost touching him, almost wanting his touch. Almost.
“Hatred,” she said softly, “isn’t rational or logical. Animals don’t hate. Only people do.”
His eyes seemed to see straight through her, the way Julie’s did, but with far greater intimacy. He didn’t need to touch her at all. She moved away and started toward the store. “Come on. Let’s get this over with.”
His fingers skimmed her elbow, drawing her back. “I don’t fear these people,” he said. “There is no need to run.”
That final word held a wealth of anger, even contempt. For himself? He had called himself a monster with something very close to self-loathing. Did he remember running from men and feel shame because of it?
Shame was an all too human weakness. She pulled her arm close to her side. “You may know what to fear in the forest,” she said tightly. “But since you don’t remember your life as a man, you’d better leave the rest to me.”
* * *
Alex led Kieran into Olsen’s, her back straight and stiff. He trailed behind her, like some massive shadow, into the men’s clothing section. It was small and fitted out with the basics: jeans, warm shirts, jackets, socks, boots. And underwear.
For some reason the thought of underwear made Alex flash back to the first time she’d seen Kieran—buck naked and looking as though he’d never worn a stitch in his life. Unaccountably, she felt herself flush. This was an impersonal operation, after all. In human form he would need human clothing—all of it.
Brusquely she pointed out to Kieran the various items he would need. He fingered the garments, examining them carefully. Alex did a hasty estimate of his size and thrust a package of briefs into his arms. She picked out jeans and a shirt and explained the dressing room to him; he lowered his head and studied the blanketed room warily before going in.
This time she resisted the urge to help him dress, though she found herself imagining it all: his muscles flexing as he twisted out of the sweats, the impressive expanse of his naked body, the frown between his dark brows as he worked out the puzzle of zippers and buttons. She prayed he remembered that much. Occasionally she heard an unmistakable growl from behind the curtain, and she almost smiled.
“Help you, Miss Alex?”
She turned to find Mr. Olsen looking over her shoulder at the dressing room, brows raised. He took a toothpick from his mouth, examined it, and thrust it back between his teeth.
“Someone new, I see,” Olsen commented in his flat, dry voice. “Don’t remember him.” He craned his neck, as if he could see through the blanket that rippled and swayed with Kieran’s movements. “Friend of yours?”
Here it started. Alex bit her tongue to keep from snapping out a pointed warning for him to mind his own business. Deanna’s tear-streaked face was still fresh in her memory. “An acquaintance. He got lost cross-country skiing out my way and needed help.”