Reginald’s Record Knock by P.G. Wodehouse

Of the remaining hour and ten minutes of his innings Reginald’s recollections are like some blurred but beautiful dream. He remembers occasional outstanding hits — as when he scored a boundary off a ball of Grigson’s which stopped dead two-thirds of the way down the pitch, and when he beat short-slip in a race for a delivery of Harris’s. But the greater part of the innings has fled from him.

One moment, however, still stands out sharp and clear in his memory — the moment when a second burst of cheering, beside which the first was as nothing, informed him that his score had reached three figures. After that one or two more lofty hits, and finally the crash of the stumps and the triumphant return to the pavilion on the shoulders of a mixed bevy of Chigley Heathens and Hearty Lunchers.

For some fifteen minutes he sat on a bench in a moist, happy trance.

And then, suddenly, like a cold douche, came the thought of Margaret.

Reginald sprang for the dressing-room and changed his clothes, his brain working feverishly.

And as he laced his boots there came, like some knell, the sound of the clock outside striking six.

Margaret and her mother were seated in the drawing-room when Reginald arrived. Mrs Melville, who had elicited the information that Reginald had not kept his appointment, had been saying ‘I told you so’ for some time, and this had not improved Margaret’s temper. When, therefore, Reginald, damp and dishevelled, was shown in, he felt like a man who has suddenly discovered the North Pole. Mrs Melville did her celebrated imitation of the Gorgon, while Margaret, lightly humming an air, picked up a weekly paper and became absorbed in it.

‘Margaret, let me explain,’ panted Reginald.

Mrs Melville was understood to remark that she dared say.

Margaret’s attention was riveted by a fashion plate.

‘Driving in a taximeter to Charing Cross this afternoon,’ resumed Reginald, ‘I had an accident.’

(Which was the net result of his feverish brain-work in the pavilion dressing-room.)

The weekly periodical flapped to the floor.

‘Oh, Reggie, are you hurt?’

‘A few scratches, nothing more; but it made me miss my train.’

‘Oh, Reggie! but why didn’t you wire? I have been worrying so.’

‘I was too agitated, dearest.’

‘What train did you catch?’

‘The five-one.’

‘Why, Brewster was coming home by the five-one. Did you see him,’

Reginald’s jaw dropped slightly.

‘Er — no,’ he said.

‘How curious,’ said Margaret.

‘Very curious,’ said Reginald.

‘Most curious,’ said Mrs Melville.

They were still reflecting on the singularity of this fact when the door opened again, and the son of the house entered in person.

‘Thought I should find you here, Humby,’ he said. ‘They gave me this at the station to give to you; you dropped it this morning when you got out of the train.’

He handed Reginald the missing pouch.

‘Thanks,’ said the latter, huskily. ‘When you say this morning, of course you mean this evening but thanks, all the same — thanks — thanks.’

‘No, Reginald Humby, he does not mean this evening,’ said Mrs Melville. ‘Brewster, speak! From what train did that guf — did Mr Humby alight when he dropped the tobacco pouch?’

‘The ten-fifteen, the porter chap told me — said he would have given it back to him then only he nipped off in the deuce of a hurry in a cab.’

Six eyes focused themselves upon Reginald.

‘Margaret,’ he said, ‘I will not try to deceive you —’

‘You may try,’ observed Mrs Melville, ‘but you will not succeed.’

‘Well, Reginald?’

Reginald fingered his collar.

‘There was no taximeter accident.’

‘Ah!’ said Mrs Melville.

‘The fact is, I’ve been playing cricket for Chigley Heath against the Hearty Lunchers.’

Margaret uttered an exclamation of surprise.

‘Playing cricket!’

Reginald bowed his head with manly resignation.

‘Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you arrange for us to meet on the ground? I wanted to watch the match, only I couldn’t get there in the morning, and it didn’t seem worth it for such a little while in the afternoon.’

Reginald was amazed.

‘You take an interest in cricket, Margaret? You! I thought you scorned it, considered it an unintellectual game.’

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