Rex Stout – Nero Wolfe – Too Many Women

It was well past four o’clock when I rang the bell. Even before I put it under the magnifying glass I knew that was it, and five minutes with the glass, comparing it with a dozen of the best specimens on the folders and reports, settled it good enough for any jury. Either I had let out a grunt of triumph or my manner had betrayed me, for the onion eater came to my elbow and asked: “Found what you were after, didn’t you?” Not to waste a lie I told her yes, which was feasible since my hand was covering the name on the card. When she had backed off again I returned the card to the file, closed the drawer, repacked my stuff in the carton with the tissue paper, told her I was through for the day and was grateful for the pleasant hours I had spent with her, and went back to the thirty-fourth floor and my office with the carton under my arm. I put the carton on the floor between the window and the desk, which was back in place, got the head of the reserve pool on the phone, and asked him: “How about Miss Gwynne Ferris? Can I see her now?” “I’m afraid not.” He was apologetic. “I’m terribly sorry, Mr. Truett, but she still has a lot—” “Excuse me,” I broke in. “I’m sorry too, but so have I got a lot. I have asked for her three times now, and of course if I have to go to Mr. Naylor or Mr.

Pine—” “Not at all! Certainly not! I didn’t know it was important!” “It may be.” “Then I’ll send her right in! She’ll be there right away!” I told him I appreciated it, hung up, arose to move the visitor’s chair to a better position at the end of the desk, and resumed my seat. The door was closed. I was idly considering getting up to open it, to save her the trouble, when it swung open itself and she entered, shut the door behind her, and approached.

I haven’t Wolfe’s stock excuse, over three hundred pounds to manipulate, for not rising to my feet when a caller enters the room, and besides, I am not a lout.

But that time I was glued to my chair at least three seconds beyond the courtesy limit, until after she had asked in a sweet musical voice: “Did you want me? I’m Gwynne Ferris.” It was the non-speller who had rested her lovely fingers on my knee before I had been in the place an hour.

CHAPTER Eighteen

The psychological moment had passed for rising on the entrance of a lady, so I skipped it and told her, “There’s a chair. C-H-A-I-R. Sit down. D-O-W-N.” She did so gracefully, with no flutter, got one knee over the other with the nylons nearly parallel, the twentieth-century classic pose, gave the ordained tug to the hem of her green woolen skirt, covering an additional sector of knee the width of a matchstick, and smiled at me both with her pretty red lips and her clear blue eyes.

“This is Friday,” I stated. “So this is your fifth and last day here. Huh?” “Well—” She looked demure.

“I am naturally magnanimous,” I went on, “and how would you like to spell that one? And I don’t mind a little kidding, some of my best friends are kidders, including me. Besides, my suddenly sitting on the corner of your desk and firing questions at you about Waldo Moore must have given you a jolt, considering that you had been—well, I don’t want to be outspoken about it—say you and he had been propinquitous. P-R-O-P-I-” “Don’t spell it,” she said, with her voice a little less musical and not at all sweet. “Just tell me what it means. If it means what I think it does it’s a lie and I know who told you.” “Prove it. Who?” “Hester Livsey. And you believed her! You wouldn’t stop to consider my reputation, a girl’s reputation, oh no, that wouldn’t matter! Not if Hester Livsey told you, because she’s a section head’s secretary and she wouldn’t lie, oh no! What did she say? Exactly what words did she say?” I was shaking my head. “Nope. Bad guess. Miss Livsey hasn’t mentioned you, and anyhow I want no part of the idea that a section head’s secretary never tells a lie.” I looked at her as man to woman. “Why don’t I forget that anyone has told me anything, and let you straighten me out? You did know Moore, didn’t you?” “Certainly, everybody did.” Her voice was back to normal. It changed as often and as fast as the weather. “No matter what a girl’s character was she stood a fat chance of not knowing him!” “Yeah, I understand he was very sociable. Did you go out with him much?” “No, not—” She bit that off. A tiny wrinkle appeared on her lovely smooth forehead. “Oh, he took me to a couple of shows, that was about all. Once we were out in his car, out on Long Island, and there was an accident and I got a little cut on a part of my body. Of course everyone heard about that.” “I’ll bet they did. But you weren’t especially intimate with him?” “Good lord no, intimate? I should say not!” “Then I suppose his death wasn’t a particularly hard blow for you.” “No, I scarcely noticed it.” She caught herself up. “Of course I don’t mean—I mean, I noticed it. But more on account of my character than on account of him.

What I mean about my character, I mean I don’t like death. I just don’t like it, no matter who it is.” I nodded. “I feel the same way about it. You mean it would have been a much harder blow if it had been, for instance, Ben Frenkel.” She jerked her chin up, and, as though it had been synchronized, her skirt simultaneously jerked itself back above the knee. She demanded, “Who the hell mentioned Ben Frenkel?” “I did. Just now. He came to see me yesterday and we had a talk. Isn’t he a friend of yours?” “We’re not intimate,” she said defiantly. “Did he say we are?” “No no, he’s not that kind of guy. I was just using him as an illustration of how little you noticed the death of Moore. What’s your opinion of this gossip that’s going around, about Moore being murdered?” “I think it’s terrible and I won’t listen to it. Gossip is so cheap!” “But of course you’ve heard it?” “Mighty little. I just won’t listen!” “Aren’t you interested? Or curious? I thought intelligent women were curious about everything, even murder.” She shook her angelic head. “Not me. I guess it isn’t a part of my character.” “That’s funny. It really surprises me, because when I found out it was you who came in here on the sly and went through that cabinet, and looked through my folders, and read my reports about Moore, I said to myself, sure, I might have expected that, all it means is that Gwynne Ferris is a beautiful and intelligent young woman who got so curious about it that she couldn’t resist the temptation.

And now you say you’re not curious at all. It certainly is funny.” I am no Nero Wolfe at reading faces, but I know what I see, and it was a bet that during my brief speech she had decided three times to call me a liar, and had thrice changed her mind and made a grab for some better idea. When I stopped purposely without asking a question, and sat and waited for her to bat it back, what she said was: “It certainly is.” I nodded. “So since you’re not curious I suppose you had some special reason for wanting to know how far I had got. The reason I’m speaking to you about it like this, alone with you, is because I think it’s much better this way than it would be if I made a report of it and you got a bunch of nitwits barking at you—you know what the police are like…” I let it fade out because she had made up her mind. With a charming impulsive movement she was out of her chair and standing in front of me, leaning over, getting my hands in hers. In the close little room with the door shut she smelled like a new name for a perfume, but there was no time to invent one then and there.

“You don’t believe that,” she said, not much more than a whisper, into my face.

“Do you honestly think I’m that sort of girl, honestly? Do my hands feel like the kind of hands that would do mean things like that? Are you going to believe everything mean you hear about me? Just because someone says they saw me coming in your room or going out again—can you honestly look at me and tell me you believe it? Can you?” “No,” I said. “Impossible.” I was going on, but couldn’t for the moment, because she thought I had earned a citation and was proceeding to bestow it when the door of the room swung open, and with my right eye, the only one that could see anything past her ear, I observed Kerr Naylor walking in.

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