Rex Stout – Nero Wolfe – Too Many Women

The wiry little guy threw his head back and laughed.

“What for?” Pine asked.

“Skip it,” I said graciously. “Mr. Wolfe can get in touch with him. How did the vote go?” “The vote?” “On hiring Mr. Wolfe.” “That’s an improper question, Goodwin, and you know it. I’ve told—” “Excuse me, Mr. Pine, it’s far from improper.” I sent my eyes around the table.

“In a murder investigation, gentlemen, nothing is improper, and that’s the hell of it for everybody concerned. I told you that I don’t know what Mr. Wolfe will do, but I know what he’ll ask me, and one of his first questions will be who voted not to hire him. If you had let me stay in the room—” “The vote,” the wiry little guy said, “was eleven to four. Those voting no were Fergus on, Wyatt, Volk, and Thomas. The chair of course did not vote, but his remarks indicated that he was for it. My name is Armstrong.” “Much obliged. Now I’ll keep that appointment.”

CHAPTER Twenty-Six

At the far side of the executive reception room were a couple of phone booths, and I dived into one of them on my way through and dialed a number. Ordinarily when I’m not there Fritz answers, but that time it was Wolfe himself.

“Where the devil are you?” he demanded. “It’s eight minutes past eleven!” I didn’t resent it because I knew he wasn’t being critical. He regards going from one place to another place in New York City as being one of the most hazardous feats a man can undertake, and he was worried about me.

“I have,” I declared importantly, “just left a directors’ meeting. You were hired to investigate Naylor’s death by a vote of eleven to four, and I would greatly appreciate it as a personal favor if you will manage to frame a heel named Emmet Ferguson for it. When you see him you’ll agree with me. I’ll be there with Miss Livsey in fifteen minutes.” Late as I was, I had no fear that Hester would have got tired waiting for me.

She wanted that fact. And I was right. She was standing, looking uneasy, patient, and beautiful, by the mailbox on the William Street side of the lobby.

But as I approached she turned her head to say something to a man there at her elbow, and I was thrown off my stride for an instant as I recognized the man. It was Sumner Hoff, with his hat and coat on.

I stopped in front of them and spoke to her. “I’m sorry to be so late, but I was detained upstairs. This way’s best for a taxi—” “You know Mr. Hoff,” she said. “He’s going with us.” I had expected that on account of his hat and coat. I looked down my nose at him. “Come ahead. If Mr. Wolfe decides you’re not welcome I’ll know how to handle it since you showed me last week.” “I’ll do the handling,” he snapped.

“Well, don’t be rough with me,” I said plaintively.

When we found a taxi, which was easy at that time of day, he helped Hester in and then followed her, planting himself in the middle and leaving me the near corner, so he would be between us. That’s the right idea, brother, I thought, don’t forget the good old stock department motto, protect your woman. It was gratifying to see that although he was a civil engineer and therefore an aristocrat he didn’t set himself up above the others but stuck to the code.

Frankly, considering his imminent double chin, it seemed to me that Hester was running low on knights, but it was quite possible he had some good points I hadn’t noticed.

At our destination he kept it plain that he was doing the handling—out of the taxi, up the stoop, through the door, and down the hall to the office. I hoped he wouldn’t mind that I took the initiative to do the introducing.

“You may remember,” I told Wolfe, “that last Thursday a person named Sumner Hoff, when I entered his office in a friendly manner, told me to get out and called me a goddam snoop. This is him. It might be thought he came to apologize, but no. He came along, he says, to do the handling.” “Indeed.” Wolfe reached to pour beer. “Sit down, Miss Livsey. Sit down, Mr.

Hoff. Will you have some beer?” They accepted the chairs but not the beer. Wolfe, who thinks foam is fine for the upper lip, was drinking, so I filled in, as I lowered myself into my chair.

“I might add that if you prefer to speak with Miss Livsey privately I would have no objection to performing an engineering operation on Hoff and removing him.” “No, thank you.” Wolfe put his glass down, wiped his mouth with his handkerchief, and leaned back. “Perhaps later.” He looked at Hoff and told him, “Handle it.” “I will,” Hoff said aggressively, “when I know what it is.” “Ah. You must have extraordinary resources, to be prepared for all conceivable phenomena. I have been engaged by the firm you work for to investigate the death of Mr. Naylor. I tell you that so you’ll know what I’m doing.” Wolfe’s eyes went to Hester. “Miss Livsey, I believe you told a policeman at Westport that you knew nothing about Mr. Naylor and that your association with him was restricted to your role as an obscure employee in his department. Is that correct?” “Don’t answer him,” Hoff snapped, starting to handle it.

“Certainly I’ll answer,” Hester said. She was in the red leather chair, facing the window. “I’ll answer that. Those weren’t my words, but it amounted to that, yes. Mr. Goodwin told me that you had learned a certain fact about Mr. Naylor and me, and that if I came here you would tell me what it was. What—” “There is no such fact,” Hoff snapped, “and we want to know what you’re talking about!” Wolfe pointed a finger. “That door,” he said, “leads to what we call the front room. The wall and door are soundproofed. I suppose, Mr. Hoff, you’d better go in there.” “Oh, no. I’m staying here.” Protect your woman.

“Nonsense. Even if you weren’t flabby Mr. Goodwin could put you anywhere I told him to. Archie. If Mr. Hoff interrupts again remove him, I don’t care where.” “Yes, sir.” “Without ceremony.” “Yes, sir.” “You keep still, Sumner,” Hester admonished him. “All I want is what Mr. Goodwin asked me to come for,” she told Wolfe. “There can’t be any fact about Mr. Naylor and me. What is it?” “When was the last time you saw Mr. Naylor, Miss Livsey?” “Don’t ans—” Hoff began. I had started for him before he finished the first syllable. He didn’t bite it off, the words just stopped coming, and I saw to my regret that I would never have the pleasure of plugging him. He wasn’t up to it.

There might be occasion for shoving him or bundling him, but he would never rate a real sock. I sat down again.

Anyhow, Hester didn’t obey. “I don’t know,” she said. “I suppose I saw him at the office some time Friday, but I didn’t notice and I don’t remember.” Wolfe shook his head. “Not at the office. At six-thirty-eight Friday afternoon you met him at the corner of First Avenue and Fifty-second Street, walked back and forth with him over an hour, and parted from him at seven-forty-one at Second Avenue and Fifty-seventh Street. What were you talking about?” Hester was wide-eyed. “That isn’t so,” she asserted in a loud voice, unnecessarily loud.

“No? What did I get wrong?” “All of it’s wrong. It isn’t so.” “You didn’t see Mr. Naylor after office hours on Friday?” “No. I didn’t.” So far so good. Obviously her talk with Naylor had been about something she didn’t want to broadcast, and naturally she would deny it as long as that seemed feasible. I had not yet reported to Wolfe on her awful fumble that morning in her office, and I saw no need for it now, since he had the high card and all he had to do was play it.

“It’s no good, Miss Livsey,” Wolfe said. “Abandon it. I have a witness.” “You can’t have,” she declared. “You can’t have a witness to my being with Mr.

Naylor where you said, because I couldn’t have been there, because I was somewhere else. Friday afternoon I left the office at five o’clock and went to Grand Central Station and went to the soda fountain on the lower level and had a sundae. I had intended to catch a train to Westport, but at the office that day Mr. Hoff had said he wanted to talk with me about something and we had made an appointment. We met there at the soda fountain at six o’clock. We talked there a while and then went upstairs to the waiting-room and talked some more. He persuaded me to go to the theater with him and take a later train to Westport.

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