Ripping Time by Robert Asprin & Linda Evans

Throat tight, Skeeter clenched his fists inside his jeans pockets, the plastic lasso digging into his palm, and stared emptily at the crowd thronging into Valhalla from El Dorado’s nearby gold-tinted paving stones. And that was when he saw it happen. A well-timed stumble against a modestly dressed, middle-aged woman . . . a deft move of nimble fingers into her handbag . . . apologies given and accepted . . .

You rat-faced little—

Something inside Skeeter Jackson snapped. He found himself striding furiously forward, approached close enough to hear, “—apologize again, ma’am.”

“It is nothing,” she was saying as Skeeter closed in. Spanish, Skeeter pegged the woman, who was doubtless here for the next Conquistadores Gate tour. Doesn’t look rich enough to afford losing whatever’s in that wallet, either. Probably spent the last five or six years saving enough money for this tour and that fumble-fingered little amateur thinks he’s going to get away with every centavo she’s scraped up! Skeeter closed his fingers around the loops of plastic lasso in his pocket and came to an abrupt decision.

“Hello there,” Skeeter said with a friendly smile dredged up from his days as a deceitful confidence artist. This screaming little neophyte didn’t know the first thing about the business—and Skeeter intended to impart a harsh lesson. He offered his hand to the pickpocket. Startled eyes met his own as the guy shook Skeeter’s hand automatically.

“Do I know you?”

“Nah,” Skeeter said, still smiling, looping the plastic lasso deftly through the pickpocket’s nearest belt loop with his other hand, “but you will in a minute. Care to explain what you’re doing with the lady’s wallet in your back pocket?”

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