‘We’re through!’ yelled Mr Wonka. ‘We’ve done it! We’re in!’ Grandpa Joe grabbed him by the hand and said, ‘Well done, sir! How splendid! What a magnificent job!’
‘Where in the world are we now?’ said Mrs Bucket.
‘We’re back, Mother!’ Charlie cried. ‘We’re in the Chocolate Factory!’
‘I’m very glad to hear it,’ said Mrs Bucket. ‘But didn’t we come rather a long way round?’
‘We had to,’ said Mr Wonka, ‘to avoid the traffic.’
‘I have never met a man,’ said Grandma Georgina, ‘who talks so much absolute nonsense!’
‘A little nonsense now and then, is relished by the wisest men,’ Mr Wonka said.
‘Why don’t you pay some attention to where this crazy Elevator’s going!’ shouted Grandma Josephine. ‘And stop footling about!’
‘A little footling round about, will stop you going up the spout,’ said Mr Wonka.
‘What did I tell you!’ cried Grandma Georgina. ‘He’s round the twist! He’s bogged as a beetle! He’s dotty as a dingbat! He’s got rats in the roof! I want to go home!’
‘Too late,’ said Mr Wonka. ‘We’re there!’ The Elevator stopped. The doors opened and Charlie found himself looking out once again at the great Chocolate Room with the chocolate river and the chocolate waterfall, where everything was eatable — the trees, the leaves, the grass, the pebbles and even the rocks. And there to meet them were hundreds and hundreds of tiny Oompa-Loompas, all waving and cheering. It was a sight that took one’s breath away. Even Grandma Georgina was stunned into silence for a few seconds. But not for long. ‘Who in the world are all those peculiar little men?’ she said.
‘They’re Oompa-Loompas,’ Charlie told her. ‘They’re wonderful. You’ll love them.’
‘Ssshh!’ said Grandpa Joe. ‘Listen, Charlie! The drums are starting up! They’re going to sing.’
‘Alleluia!’ sang the Oompa-Loompas.
‘Oh alleluia and hooray!
Our Willy Wonka’s back today!
We thought you’d never make it home!
We thought you’d left us all alone!
We knew that you would have to face
Some frightful creatures up in space.
We even thought we heard the crunch
Of someone eating you for lunch . . .’
‘All right!’ shouted Mr Wonka, laughing and raising both hands. ‘Thank you for your welcome! Will some of you please help to get this bed out of here!’
Fifty Oompa-Loompas ran forward and pushed the bed with the three old ones in it out of the Elevator. Mr and Mrs Bucket, both looking completely overwhelmed by it all, followed the bed out. Then came Grandpa Joe, Charlie and Mr Wonka.
‘Now,’ said Mr Wonka, addressing Grandpa George, Grandma Georgina and Grandma Josephine. ‘Up you hop out of that bed and let’s get cracking. I’m sure you’ll all want to lend a hand running the factory.’
‘Who, us?’ said Grandma Josephine.
‘Yes, you,’ said Mr Wonka.
‘You must be joking,’ said Grandma Georgina.
‘I never joke,’ said Mr Wonka.
‘Now just you listen to me, sir!’ said old Grandpa George, sitting up straight in bed. ‘You’ve got us into quite enough tubbles and trumbles for one day!’
‘I’ve got you out of them, too,’ said Mr Wonka proudly. ‘And I’m going to get you out of that bed as well, you see if I don’t!’
13
How Wonka-Vite Was Invented
‘I haven’t been out of this bed in twenty years and I’m not getting out now for anybody!’ said Grandma Josephine firmly.
‘Nor me,’ said Grandma Georgina.
‘You were out of it just now, every one of you,’ said Mr Wonka.
‘That was floating,’ said Grandpa George. ‘We couldn’t help it.’
‘We never put our feet on the floor,’ said Grandma Josephine.
‘Try it,’ said Mr Wonka. ‘You might surprise yourself.’
‘Go on, Josie,’ said Grandpa Joe. ‘Give it a try. I did. It was easy.’
‘We’re perfectly comfortable where we are, thank you very much,’ said Grandma Josephine.
Mr Wonka sighed and shook his head very slowly and very sadly. ‘Oh well,’ he said, ‘so that’s that.’ He laid his head on one side and gazed thoughtfully at the three old people in the bed, and Charlie, watching him closely, saw those bright little eyes of his beginning to spark and twinkle once again.