‘Monkeys can reach anywhere!’ shouted Muggle-Wump. He was in a frenzy of excitement now, waving his paint-brush and his bucket and leaping about all over the room. ‘Come on, come on! Jump on the table! Stand on the chairs! Hop on each other’s shoulders! Roly-Poly can do it flying! Don’t stand there gaping! We have to hurry, don’t you understand that? Those terrible Twits will be back any moment and this time they’ll have guns! Get on with it, for heaven’s sake! Get on with it!’
And so the great glue-painting of the ceiling began. All the other birds who had been sitting on the roof flew in to help, carrying paint-brushes in their claws and beaks. There were buzzards, magpies, rooks, ravens and many more. Everyone was splashing away like mad and with so many helpers, the job was soon finished.
The Carpet Goes on the Ceiling
‘What now?’ they all said, looking at Muggle-Wump.
‘Ah-ha!’ cried Muggle-Wump. ‘Now for the fun! Now for the greatest upside down trick of all time! Are you ready?’
‘We’re ready,’ said the monkeys. ‘We’re ready,’ said the birds.
‘Pull out the carpet!’ shouted Muggle-Wump. ‘Pull this huge carpet out from under the furniture and stick it on to the ceiling!’
‘On to the ceiling!’ cried one of the small monkeys. ‘But that’s impossible, Dad!’
‘I’ll stick you on to the ceiling if you don’t shut up!’ snapped Muggle-Wump.
‘He’s dotty!’ they cried.
‘He’s balmy!’
‘He’s batty!’
‘He’s nutty!’
‘He’s screwy!’
‘He’s wacky!’ cried the Roly-Poly Bird. ‘Poor old Muggles has gone off his wump at last!’
‘Oh, do stop shouting such rubbish and give me a hand,’ said Muggle-Wump, catching hold of one corner of the carpet. ‘Pull, you nitwits, pull!’
The carpet was enormous. It covered the entire floor from wall to wall. It had a red and gold pattern on it. It is not easy to pull an enormous carpet off the floor when the room is full of tables and chairs. ‘Pull!’ yelled Muggle-Wump. ‘Pull, pull, pull!’ He was like a demon hopping round the room and telling everyone what to do. But you couldn’t blame him. After months and months of standing on his head with his family, he couldn’t wait for the time when the terrible Twits would be doing the same thing. At least that’s what he hoped.
With the monkeys and the birds all pulling and puffing, the carpet was dragged off the floor and finally hoisted up on to the ceiling. And there it stuck.
All at once, the whole ceiling of the living-room was carpeted in red and gold.
The Furniture Goes Up
‘Now the table, the big table!’ shouted Muggle-Wump. ‘Turn the table upside down and put a dollop of sticky glue on to the bottom of each leg. Then we shall stick that on to the ceiling as well!’
Hoisting the huge table upside down on to the ceiling was not an easy job, but they managed it in the end.
‘Will it stay there?’ they cried. ‘Is the glue strong enough to hold it up?’
‘It’s the strongest glue in the world!’ Muggle-Wump replied. ‘It’s the special bird-catching bird-killing glue for smearing on trees!’
‘Please,’ said the Roly-Poly Bird. ‘I have asked you before not to mention that subject. How would you like it if it was Monkey Pie they made every Wednesday and all your friends had been boiled up and I went on talking about it?’
‘I do beg your pardon,’ said Muggle-Wump. ‘I’m so excited I hardly know what I’m saying. Now the chairs! Do the same with the chairs! All the chairs must be stuck upside down to the ceiling! And in their right places! Oh, do hurry up, everybody! Any moment now, those two filthy freaks are going to come rushing in with their guns!’
The monkeys, with the birds helping them, put glue on the bottom of each chair leg and hoisted them up to the ceiling.
‘Now the smaller tables!’ shouted Muggle-Wump. ‘And the big sofa! And the sideboard! And the lamps! And all the tiny little things! The ashtrays! The ornaments! And that beastly plastic gnome on the sideboard! Everything, absolutely everything must be stuck to the ceiling!’