‘I’ve come for a holiday,’ said the Roly-Poly Bird. ‘I like to travel.’ He fluffed his marvellous coloured feathers and looked down rather grandly at the monkeys. ‘For most people,’ he went on, ‘flying away on holiday is very expensive, but I can fly anywhere in the world for nothing.’
‘Do you know how to talk to these English birds?’ Muggle-Wump asked him.
‘Of course I do,’ said the Roly-Poly Bird. ‘It’s no good going to a country and not knowing the language.’
‘Then we must hurry,’ said Muggle-Wump. ‘Today is Tuesday and over there you can already see the revolting Mr Twit up the ladder painting sticky glue on all the branches of The Big Dead Tree. This evening when the birds come in to roost, you must warn them not to perch on that tree or they will be made into Bird Pie.’
That evening, the Roly-Poly Bird flew round and round The Big Dead Tree singing out,
‘There’s sticky stick stuff all over the tree!
If you land in the branches, you’ll never get free!
So fly away! Fly away! Stay up high!
Or you’ll finish up tomorrow in a hot Bird Pie!’
No Bird Pie for Mr Twit
The next morning when Mr Twit came out with his huge basket to snatch all the birds from The Big Dead Tree, there wasn’t a single one on it. They were all sitting on top of the monkey cage. The Roly-Poly Bird was there as well, and Muggle-Wump and his family were inside the cage and the whole lot of them were laughing at Mr Twit.
Still No Bird Pie for Mr Twit
Mr Twit wasn’t going to wait another week for his Bird Pie supper. He loved Bird Pie. It was his favourite meal. So that very same day, he went after the birds again. This time he smeared all the top bars of the monkey cage with sticky glue, as well as the branches of The Big Dead Tree. ‘Now I’ll get you,’ he said, ‘whichever one you sit on!’
The monkeys crouched inside the cage watching all this, and later on, when the Roly-Poly Bird came swooping in for an evening chat, they shouted out, ‘Don’t land on our cage, Roly-Poly Bird! It’s covered in sticky glue! So is the tree!’
And that evening, as the sun went down and all the birds came in again to roost, the Roly-Poly Bird flew round and round the monkey cage and The Big Dead Tree, singing out his warning,
‘There’s sticky stuff now on the cage and the tree!
If you land on either, you’ll never get free!
So fly away! Fly away! Stay up high!
Or you’ll finish up tomorrow in a hot Bird Pie!’
Mr and Mrs Twit Go Off to Buy Guns
The next morning when Mr Twit came out with his huge basket, not a single bird was sitting on either the monkey cage or The Big Dead Tree. They were all perched happily on the roof of Mr Twit’s house. The Roly-Poly Bird was up there as well, and the monkeys were in the cage and the whole lot of them were hooting with laughter at Mr Twit.
‘I’ll wipe that silly laugh off your beaks!’ Mr Twit screamed at the birds. ‘I’ll get you next time, you filthy feathery frumps! I’ll wring your necks, the whole lot of you, and have you bubbling in the pot for Bird Pie before this day is out!’
‘How are you going to do that?’ asked Mrs Twit, who had come outside to see what all the noise was about. ‘I won’t have you smearing sticky glue all over the roof of our house!’
Mr Twit got very excited. ‘I’ve got a great idea!’ he cried. He didn’t bother to keep his voice down because he didn’t think the monkeys could understand. ‘We’ll both go into town right away and we’ll buy a gun each!’ he shouted. ‘How’s that?’
‘Brilliant!’ cried Mrs Twit, grinning and showing her long yellow teeth. ‘We’ll buy those big shotguns that spray out fifty bullets or more with each bang!’
‘Exactly,’ said Mr Twit. ‘Lock up the house while I go and make sure the monkeys are safely shut away.’