“Newboy. You’re babbling,” she informed me icily.
It was true. “I’m sorry,” I said again, and sat down on the corner of the bed.
“Don’t get comfortable,” she warned me. “You were just leaving. Alone, or with the Keep guards. Your choice.”
“I’ll go,” I promised, standing hastily. “I just wanted to be sure you were all right.”
“I’m fine,” she said testily. “Why wouldn’t I be fine? I’m as fine tonight as I was last night, as I have been for the last thirty nights. On none of them were you inspired to come and inspect my health. So why tonight?”
I took a breath. “Because on some nights threats are more obvious than others. Bad things happen, that make me take stock of what worse things could happen. On some nights, it is not the healthiest thing to be the beloved of a bastard.”
The lines of her mouth went as flat as her voice as she asked, “What is that supposed to mean?”
I took a breath, determined that I would be as honest with her as I was able. “I cannot tell you what happened. Only that it made me believe you might be in danger. You will have to trust-”
“That isn’t the part I meant. What do you mean, beloved of a bastard? How do you dare to call me that?” Her eyes were bright with anger.
I swear that my heart thudded to a halt in my chest. The cold of death swept through me. “It is true, I have no right,” I said haltingly. “But neither is there any way I could stop caring for you. And whether or not I have the right to name you my beloved would not deter those who might seek to injure me by striking at you. How can I say. I love you so much that I wish I did not love you, or at least could refrain from showing that I loved you, because my love puts you in such danger, and have those words be true?” Stiffly, I turned to go.