“Good. That‘s something, anyway. Thank you, Gerard. I am going away now.” I moved to break the contact
“Wait, Corwin! Wait!”
“What is it?”
“How did you cut the black road? You destroyed a section of it at the place you crossed over. How did you do it?”
“The Pattern,” I said. “If you ever get in trouble with that thing, hit it with the Pattern. You know how you have to sometimes hold it in your mind if shadows begin to run away from you and things start going wild?”
“Yes. I tried that and it didn‘t work. All I got was a headache. It is not of Shadow.”
“Yes and no,” I said. “I know what it is. You did not try hard enough. I used the Pattern until my head felt as if it were being torn apart, until I was half blind from the pain and about ready to pass out. Then the road came apart about me instead. It was no fun, but it did work.”
“I will remember,” he said. “Are you going to talk to Benedict now?”
“No,” I said. “He already has everything we‘ve gone over. Now that he is cooling off, he will begin pushing the facts around some more. I would just as soon he do it on his own—and I do not want to risk another fight. When I close this time I will be silent for a long while. I will resist all efforts to communicate with me, also.”
“What of Amber, Corwin? What of Amber?”
I dropped my eyes.
“Don‘t get in my way when I come back, Gerard. Believe me, it will be no contest.”
“Corwin . . . Wait. I‘d like to ask you to reconsider. Do not hit Amber now. She is weak in all the wrong ways.”
“I am sorry, Gerard. But I am certain I have given the matter more thought during the past five years than all the rest of you put together.”
“I am sorry, too, then.”
“I guess I had better be going now.”
He nodded.
“Good-by, Corwin.”
“Good-by, Gerard.”
After waiting several hours for the sun to disappear behind the hill, leaving the house in a premature twilight, I mashed a final cigarette, shook out my jacket and donned it, rose to my feet. There had been no signs of life about the place, no movement behind the dirty windows, the broken window. Slowly, I descended the hill.
Flora‘s place out in Westchester had been sold some years before, which came as no surprise to me. I had checked merely as a matter of curiosity, since I was back in town. Had even driven past the place once. There was no reason for her to remain on this shadow Earth. Her long wardenship having ended successfully, she was being rewarded in Amber the last time I had seen her. To have been so near for as long as I had without even realizing her presence was a thing I found somewhat galling.
I had debated contacting Random, decided against it. The only way he could possibly benefit me would be with information as to current affairs in Amber. While this would be nice to have, it was not absolutely essential. I was fairly certain that I could trust him. After all, he had been of some assistance to me in the past. Admitted, it was hardly altruism—but still, he had gone a bit further than he had had to. It was five years ago, though, and a lot had happened since. He was being tolerated around Amber again, and he had a wife now. He might be eager to gain a little standing. I just did not know. But weighing the possible benefits against the possible losses, I thought it better to wait and see him personally the next time I was in town.
I had kept my word and resisted all attempts to make contact with me. They had come almost daily during my first two weeks back on the shadow Earth. Several weeks had passed, though, and I had not been troubled since. Why should I give anyone a free shot at my thinking machinery? No thanks, brothers.