Rose in Bloom by Louisa May Alcott

plan was not a new one.

“Really. You don’t believe it, but I am, and mother means to go

with me. We’ve had another letter from the governor, and he says

if she can’t part from her big baby to come along too, and all be

happy together. What do you think of that?” he asked, eyeing her

intently, for they were face to face as she went backward and he

held both of her hands to steer and steady her.

“I like it immensely, and do believe it now only it rather takes my

breath away to think of Aunty’s going, when she never would hear

of it before.?

“She doesn’t like the plan very well now and consents to go only

on one condition.?

“What is that?” asked Rose, trying to free her hands, for a look at

Charlie made her suspect what was coming.

“That you go with us.” And, holding the hands fast, he added

rapidly, “Let me finish before you speak. I don’t mean that

anything is to be changed till you are ready, but if you go, I am

willing to give up everything else and live anywhere as long as you

like. Why shouldn’t you come to us for a year or two? We’ve never

had our share. Father would be delighted, mother contented, and I

the happiest man alive.?

“Who made this plan?” asked Rose as soon as she got the breath

which certainly had been rather taken away by this entirely new

and by no means agreeable scheme.

“Mother suggested it I shouldn’t have dared even to dream of such

richness. I’d made up my mind to go alone, and when I told her,

she was in despair till this superb idea came into her head. After

that, of course, it was easy enough for me to stick to the resolution

I’d made.?

“Why did you decide to go, Charlie?” And Rose looked up into the

eyes that were fixed beseechingly on hers.

They wavered and glanced aside, then met hers honestly yet full of

humility, which made her own fall as he answered very low:

“Because I don’t dare to stay.?

“Is it so hard?” she said pitifully.

“Very hard. I haven’t the moral courage to own up and face

ridicule, and it seems so mean to hide for fear of breaking my

word. I will keep it this time, Rose, if I go to the ends of the earth

to do it.?

“It is not cowardly to flee temptation, and nobody whose opinion is

worth having will ridicule any brave attempt to conquer one’s self.

Don’t mind it, Charlie, but stand fast, and I am sure you will

succeed.?

“You don’t know what it is, and I can’t tell you, for till I tried to

give it up I never guessed what a grip it had on me. I thought it was

only a habit, easy to drop when I liked, but it is stronger than I, and

sometimes I feel as if possessed of a devil that will get the better

of me, try as I may.?

He dropped her hands abruptly as he said that, with the energy of

despair; and, as if afraid of saying too much, he left her for a

minute, striking away at full speed, as if in truth he would “go to

the ends of the earth” to escape the enemy within himself.

Rose stood still, appalled by this sudden knowledge of how much

greater the evil was than she had dreamed. What ought she to do?

Go with her cousin, and by so doing tacitly pledge herself as his

companion on that longer journey for which he was as yet so

poorly equipped? Both heart and conscience protested against this

so strongly that she put the thought away. But compassion pleaded

for him tenderly, and the spirit of self-sacrifice, which makes

women love to give more than they receive, caused her to feel as if

in a measure this man’s fate lay in her hands, to be decided for

good or ill through her. How should she be true both to him and to

herself?

Before this question could be answered, he was back again,

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