Roughing It by Mark Twain
Roughing It by Mark Twain
TO
CALVIN H. HIGBIE,
Of California,
an Honest Man, a Genial Comrade, and a Steadfast Friend.
THIS BOOK IS INSCRIBED
By the Author,
In Memory of the Curious Time
When We Two
WERE MILLIONAIRES FOR TEN DAYS.
ROUGHING IT
BY
MARK TWAIN.
(SAMUEL L. CLEMENS.)
PREFATORY.
This book is merely a personal narrative, and not a pretentious history
or a philosophical dissertation. It is a record of several years of
variegated vagabondizing, and its object is rather to help the resting
reader while away an idle hour than afflict him with metaphysics, or goad
him with science. Still, there is information in the volume; information
concerning an interesting episode in the history of the Far West, about
which no books have been written by persons who were on the ground in
person, and saw the happenings of the time with their own eyes. I allude
to the rise, growth and culmination of the silver-mining fever in Nevada
-a curious episode, in some respects; the only one, of its peculiar kind,
that has occurred in the land; and the only one, indeed, that is likely
to occur in it.
Yes, take it all around, there is quite a good deal of information in the
book. I regret this very much; but really it could not be helped:
information appears to stew out of me naturally, like the precious ottar
of roses out of the otter. Sometimes it has seemed to me that I would
give worlds if I could retain my facts; but it cannot be. The more I calk
up the sources, and the tighter I get, the more I leak wisdom. Therefore,
I can only claim indulgence at the hands of the reader, not
justification.
THE AUTHOR.
CONTENTS.
CHAPTER I.
My Brother appointed Secretary of Nevada–I Envy His Prospective
Adventures–Am Appointed Private Secretary Under Him–My Contentment
Complete–Packed in One Hour–Dreams and Visions–On the Missouri River–
A Bully Boat
CHAPTER II.
Arrive at St. Joseph–Only Twenty-five Pounds Baggage Allowed–Farewell
to Kid Gloves and Dress Coats–Armed to the Teeth–The “Allen”–A
Cheerful Weapon–Persuaded to Buy a Mule–Schedule of Luxuries–We Leave
the “States”–“Our Coach”–Mails for the Indians–Between a Wink and an
Earthquake–A Modern Sphynx and How She Entertained Us–A Sociable Heifer
CHAPTER III.
“The Thoroughbrace is Broke”–Mails Delivered Properly–Sleeping Under
Difficulties–A Jackass Rabbit Meditating, and on Business–A Modern
Gulliver–Sage-brush–Overcoats as an Article of Diet–Sad Fate of a
Camel–Warning to Experimenters
CHAPTER IV.
Making Our Bed–Assaults by the Unabridged–At a Station–Our Driver a
Great and Shining Dignitary–Strange Place for a Frontyard–
Accommodations–Double Portraits–An Heirloom–Our Worthy Landlord–
“Fixings and Things”–An Exile–Slumgullion–A Well Furnished Table–The
Landlord Astonished–Table Etiquette–Wild Mexican Mules–Stage-coaching
and Railroading
CHAPTER V.
New Acquaintances–The Cayote–A Dog’s Experiences–A Disgusted Dog–The
Relatives of the Cayote–Meals Taken Away from Home
CHAPTER VI.
The Division Superintendent–The Conductor–The Driver–One Hundred and
Fifty Miles’ Drive Without Sleep–Teaching a Subordinate–Our Old Friend
Jack and a Pilgrim–Ben Holliday Compared to Moses
CHAPTER VII.
Overland City–Crossing the Platte–Bemis’s Buffalo Hunt–Assault by a
Buffalo–Bemis’s Horse Goes Crazy–An Impromptu Circus–A New Departure–
Bemis Finds Refuge in a Tree–Escapes Finally by a Wonderful Method
CHAPTER VIII.
The Pony Express–Fifty Miles Without Stopping–“Here he Comes”–Alkali
Water–Riding an Avalanche–Indian Massacre
CHAPTER IX.
Among the Indians–An Unfair Advantage–Laying on our Arms–A Midnight
Murder–Wrath of Outlaws–A Dangerous, yet Valuable Citizen
CHAPTER X.
History of Slade–A Proposed Fist-fight–Encounter with Jules–Paradise
of Outlaws–Slade as Superintendent–As Executioner–A Doomed Whisky
Seller–A Prisoner–A Wife’s Bravery–An Ancient Enemy Captured–Enjoying
a Luxury–Hob-nobbing with Slade–Too Polite–A Happy Escape
CHAPTER XI.
Slade in Montana–“On a Spree”–In Court–Attack on a Judge–Arrest by
the Vigilantes–Turn out of the Miners–Execution of Slade–Lamentations
of His Wife–Was Slade a Coward?
CHAPTER XII.
A Mormon Emigrant Train–The Heart of the Rocky Mountains–Pure
Saleratus–A Natural Ice-House–An Entire Inhabitant–In Sight of
“Eternal Snow”–The South Pass–The Parting Streams–An Unreliable Letter
Carrier–Meeting of Old Friends–A Spoiled Watermelon–Down the Mountain-
-A Scene of Desolation–Lost in the Dark–Unnecessary Advice–U.S. Troops
and Indians–Sublime Spectacle–Another Delusion Dispelled–Among the
Angels
CHAPTER XIII.
Mormons and Gentiles–Exhilarating Drink, and its Effect on Bemis–Salt
Lake City–A Great Contrast–A Mormon Vagrant–Talk with a Saint–A Visit
to the “King”–A Happy Simile
CHAPTER XIV.
Mormon Contractors–How Mr. Street Astonished Them–The Case Before
Brigham Young, and How he Disposed of it–Polygamy Viewed from a New