SUNDAY, JULY 3
CHAPTER 17
It was approaching seven when Nest awoke the following morning, and the sun had already been up for an hour and a half. She had slept poorly for most of the night, haunted by the vision of Gran, plagued by questions and suspicions and doubts, and she did not sleep soundly until almost sunrise. Bright sunlight and birdsong woke her, and she could tell at once that it was going to be another hot, steamy July day. The air from the fan was warm and stale, and through her open window she could see the leaves of the big oaks hanging limp and unmov-ing. She lay motionless beneath the sheet for a time, staring up at the ceiling, trying to pretend that last night hadn’t happened. She had been so eager to watch the dance of the spirits of the Sinnissippi, so anxious to learn what the spirits would tell her of the future. But she had been shown nothing of the future. Instead, she had been given a strange, almost frightening glimpse of the past. She felt cheated and angry. She felt betrayed. She told herself she would have been better off if she had never met Two Bears.
O’olishAmaneh.
But after a while her anger cooled, and she began to consider the possibility that what she had been shown was more important than she realized. Two Bears had hinted that she would need time to understand the vision, to come to grips with what it meant in her own life. She stared at the ceiling some more, trying to make sense of the shadows cast there by the sun, superimposing her own images, willing them to come to life so that they might speak to her.
Finally she rose and went into the bathroom, stopping at the mirror to look at herself, to see if she had changed in some way. But she saw only the face she always saw when she looked at herself, and nothing of secrets revealed. She sighed disconsolately, stripped off her sleep shirt, and stepped into the shower. She let cold water wash over her hot skin, let it cool her until she was chilled, then stepped out and dried. She dressed for church, knowing her grandfather would be expecting her to go, slipping into a simple print dress and her favorite low heels, and went down to breakfast. She passed through the living room long enough to check the pictures on the mantel. Sure enough, there was Gran, looking just as she had in the vision last night, her face young, her eyes reckless and challenging as they peered out from the scrolled iron frame.
She ate her breakfast without saying much, feeling awkward and uncomfortable in her grandmother’s presence. She should speak to Gran of the vision, but she didn’t know how. What could she say? Should she tell Gran what the vision had revealed or take a more circumspect approach and ask about her youth, about whether she had ever run with the feeders? And what did that mean, anyway? What did it mean when you ran with the feeders as Gran had done in the vision? Feeders were to be avoided; that was what Nest had been taught from the time she was little. Pick had warned her. Gran had warned her. So what did it mean that she was forbidden from doing something Gran had done?
And what, she wondered suddenly, had her mother done when she was a child? What did any of this have to do with her?
“You should eat something, Evelyn,” her grandfather said quietly, breaking the momentary silence.
Gran was drinking her vodka and orange juice and smoking her cigarettes. There was no food in front of her. “I ate some toast earlier,” the old woman responded distantly. Her eyes were directed out the window again, toward the park. “Just eat your own; don’t worry about me.”
Nest watched her grandfather shake his head and finish the last of his coffee. “Ready, Nest?”
She nodded and rose, gathering her dishes to carry to the sink. “Leave them,” Gran called after her. “I’ll clean up while you’re gone.”
“Sure you don’t want to come?” Old Bob pressed gently. “It would be good for you.”