Sara Douglass – The Axis Trilogy 2 – Enchanter

Faraday was almost overcome by her anger. Damn them! They must have realised what had happened! How hadAzhure survived her life in Smyrton without going mad?

“I survived by becoming what Hagen wanted,” Azhure said. “I lived the lie that he wanted. I became as normal as I could. It was the only way to survive — whenever Hagen thought that I acted in any way…’strange’…then he would beat me until I screamed for forgiveness. I learned not to…not to use …”

“Not to use what, Azhure?” Faraday asked. This was an important moment. Azhure had to admit to who, to what, she was.

“Not to use my powers,” Azhure finally whispered, and her head swivelled to look at Faraday again. “Faraday, Mama said that I was a child of the gods. That I had to seek the answer on Temple Mount to find out who I was.”

“And so you shall,” Faraday said. “But something tells me that you may find some of the answers well before you step onto Temple Mount. No, wait, Azhure. Later. Now I must do something about your back. Did it break open again during your vision this morning?”

Azhure nodded. “As I relived those weeks at Hagen’s hands as he tore the wings from my back time and time again – oh Faraday! They were so determined to reform! So resolved! – so the scars on my back opened again.”

“Well now.” Faraday smiled. “Your Enchanter Lover has singularly failed to help your pain, but I think that the Mother will be able to help a little.”

Faraday stood and moved around to the other side of the bed, noticing as she did so that both Axis and Caelum had fallen asleep in the chair on the far side of the room.

“Let me tell you about the Mother,” Faraday said softly, gently lifting the rough bandages that Axis had laid in a few places and inspecting Azhure’s back. As she did so she talked about the Mother, her voice as soothing as her hands.

Azhure closed her eyes and listened. Faraday spoke of wondrous things. Of Groves and Woods and fairy creatures. Of old women and strange gardens. Of the Mother herself and of her love for all nature and for the earth. Raum had told Azhure very little about the Sacred Grove, and what Axis had told her had only frightened her, but now Faraday’s words made Azhure realise what a remarkable place Faraday had discovered.

Faraday’s words slowed and her eyes glowed with power. Slowly, slowly, she began to dig her hands into Azhure s back.

Azhure stiffened, almost crying out with the excruciating pain that Faraday’s probing fingers caused her, but Faraday continued to talk and Azhure clung to her words, using them as an anchor for her sanity. The room swam as she came close to fainting, but Faraday’s voice strengthened, and Azhure managed to hold on to consciousness.

Gradually the pain receded and Azhure s back grew warm. Her body relaxed and she felt strength flow through her. Faraday’s hands felt good. For a long time she lay there, feeling Faraday’s hands, listening to her voice.

“Your wings are gone,” Faraday said suddenly, breaking her tale of the Enchanted Woods and the Mother. “Hagen did a thorough task. I cannot bring them back for you.”

The wings had caused her so much pain that Azhure truly did not care that they were gone for good.

Faraday was silent now as her hands traced long, lazy strokes down Azhure’s back from shoulders to buttocks. There was no pain at all. Azhure closed her eyes and let her whole body relax against Faraday’s touch.

“Come,” Faraday eventually said, rolling Azhure over onto her back. “Let’s get you out of what remains of this nightgown and wash you down. You are smeared all over with blood.”

As she sat up and pulled the nightgown over her shoulders Azhure realised that her back was completely healed. She could not even feel the tug and pull of the ridged scars that had been with her for over twenty years.

Faraday found some clean, warm water set by the fire and washed Azhure down. She smiled her warm, lovely smile and Azhure suddenly laughed.

“Thank you,” she said and grasped Faraday’s hands momentarily. “Thank you.”

“I have sometimes thought that I have lived a troublesome life these past two years,” Faraday said quietly. “But I find that my own pain has been nothing compared to what you have suffered most of your life. Azhure, we both find ourselves at a crossroads here this day. It is the first time we have met, and we have so much to say each to the other, yet we must both continue on our way. I think that, after so much pain, you will walk a road into joy and happiness, while I …” Faraday dropped her eyes. “I think that I will find yet more pain before I find happiness again.”

“Faraday,” Azhure pleaded. “I am so sorry for what I have done. I would have given anything that I was not here, not standing between you and Axis.”

“Hush,” Faraday said. “We are all caught in this damned and cruel Prophecy. None of us can escape. I do not blame you for what has happened, although,” Faraday’s eyes and voice grew bitter, “I fault Axis for the way he has behaved. He has treated us both harshly. He is quick to action, a quality usually commendable in a fighting man, but not when combined with his temper and that streak of cruelty he sometimes displays.”

She stroked Azhure’s cheek. “I would that we became friends. I have seen the pain you have suffered, and I know that you will understand what I will have to go through.”

“I would be proud to call you my friend,” Azhure whispered.

“Come now,” Faraday smiled. “No tears between friends. No recriminations. That we both love Axis is our misfortune, as is the fact that the man cannot choose between us.” She sighed. “Azhure. I will leave. No, hush, let me finish. I would have left anyway. I have my own role to play in the Prophecy and it will take me far from here. I will leave you your Lover, and envy you your Lover, Azhure. I had him a week, and that week I will have to treasure for a lifetime.”

She looked down at Azhure s swollen belly. “You make such beautiful children, you and Axis.”

Azhure wrapped her hands about her belly. Had her babies been harmed?

“No,” Faraday said softly. “They are well, although they would have experienced what you and Axis saw this morning, and I do not know how that will affect them.” She paused, as if debating whether or not to go on, then shook her head slightly and closed her mouth.

Azhure relaxed. “A son and a daughter, StarDrifter told me,” she smiled. “Axis must awaken them for me. Sing to them what they must know.”

“But you can teach them as well as he. Azhure,” Faraday said, her voice a little more serious. “You are an Icarii Enchanter yourself, after all.”

Azhure’s mouth dropped open.

Faraday patted her on the cheek. “Sit and think about that for a moment, and, in a few days’ time, when Axis awakens them and you have some quiet, you can teach those babies as much as their father. Now, if I rummage about in the closet I am sure that I can find something for you to wear.”

An Icarii Enchanter, Azhure thought numbly. No. No, no, no, no – I do not want to be an Icarii Enchanter. I want to be Azhure. Azhure. That’s all. I do not want to be an Icarii Enchanterl “Small choice,” said Faraday, coming back with a linen nightgown and a crimson wrap. “You are what your father made you.”

“My father?”

“One of the gods, your mother said?” Faraday quirked an eyebrow. “What a night that must have been when the gods got you on your mother.”

“I have so much to learn,” Azhure said quietly.

“And many, many years in which to learn it.”

The full implication of what Faraday said took a moment to sink in. “Oh!” Azhure cried, and her hands went to her mouth. She stared at Faraday, her blue eyes wide.

“Many years,” Faraday smiled, “in which to enjoy your Lover and watch your children grow. Azhure.” She sat down on the bed beside Azhure. “I would that you do something for me.”

“Anything!” Azhure said fiercely.

“Azhure. Love Axis for me. Raise his children for me. All of them.” Her tone and expression was a little strange when Faraday said the last, but Azhure did not notice it. “Remember me to the children. Tell them of Faraday, who loved their father and who is your friend. Tell them of the Mother. Azhure, when I leave I will go to fulfil my place in the Prophecy.”