She slept so well that she woke sometime after sunrise, her body singing with remembered ecstasy after a night of glorious dreams.
Dreams that completed what she and Quentin had not.
She moved about the room only half awake, trying to hold on to the fantasies. And the memories. She saw herself in the mirror and wondered at this vision, this goddess she saw before her. She touched her breasts and remembered how Quentin had caressed and suckled them. She pressed her hand to her belly and imagined it filled with Quentin’s child.
That was not to be. Not so long as things remained as they were. And she must take great pains to be sure that the other patients didn’t realize how her relationship with Quentin had changed. But now she knew what she wanted above all things in the world.
Once she’d told herself that the only way to be free of her attraction to Quentin was to cure him. Curing him was still the only route to happiness for them both. They had gone beyond the safe association of doctor and patient, but she had a greater advantage than any she’d possessed in the past. She knew the full depth of Quentin’s illness, and had faced his inner nemesis without submitting to it. She had a strong theory about how Fenris had come to exist.
And she had love on her side.
Love. It was much too new an idea to embrace fully. She must grow used to it by stages, little by little, until it became one with her heart. Love, and all its attendant expectations.
She smiled foolishly at her reflection in the mirror and began to dress.
With the perfectly valid excuse of keeping an eye on him, she paused at Quentin’s door on the way to the kitchen. His belongings were in place and the bed was neatly made, but he had already stepped out. To the woods, undoubtedly, alone or with May. Once she’d started the morning routine, she’d make certain of his whereabouts and ask him to remain on Haven grounds.
Furthermore, she must prepare May for her escape to Sacramento without alerting Quentin to the specifics of her plans for the girl. With luck, Bridget would hear back from her cousin soon, and she’d accompany May to a place where Bolkonsky and Ingram wouldn’t find her. Much must be accomplished in the coming days.
Mrs. Daugherty was at work in the kitchen, making breakfast. When she saw Johanna she stopped her work and bustled forward with an envelope in her hand.
“Doc Jo!” she said, a little out of breath. “I have some-thin’ for you. Just an hour ago, that Dr. Bolkonsky met me on the road and asked me to deliver this.” She scowled. “He said it was urgent.”
That made it urgent for Johanna as well. She tore open the envelope. The letter was yet another request for her to meet him—not in town, but at a point halfway between the Haven and Silverado Springs. Once again he declined to visit the Haven, expecting her to come to him.
Nevertheless, she couldn’t afford to ignore him. Keeping him satisfied was her best way of holding him off until May was gone.
She made her rounds to visit her father and the other patients, seeing to their immediate needs, and then asked Oscar to help her saddle Daisy.
“Have you seen Quentin this morning?” she asked as she took the reins.
“Nope. Not this mornin’.” Oscar rubbed Daisy’s nose. “May went out to look for him.”
They weren’t together, then. But Johanna refused to be concerned. May wouldn’t venture far from the Haven, given her experience in Silverado Springs. And after last night, Johanna suspected that Quentin had as much to think about as she did.
“Oscar, you know the places where May likes to go. Would you find her and bring her home straightaway?”
“I will, Doc Jo.”
“Thank you.” She clucked to Daisy and set out for Bolkonsky’s rendezvous.
He was waiting for her as promised, mounted on one of the best horses from the town livery. His animal’s restless pawing reflected the anxious expression on Bolkonsky’s deceptively handsome face.