She calmed after a while. “I’m sorry,” she whispered and half stepped away, but seemed content to let him keep his hands on her shoulders.
“There’s no need to be sorry,” Sharpe said.
Her head was lowered and Sharpe could smell her hair, but then she raised her face and looked at him. “Have you ever wanted to die, Mister Sharpe?”
He smiled at her. “I always reckoned that would be a terrible waste, my lady.”
She frowned at that answer, then, quite suddenly, she laughed and her face, for the first time since Sharpe had met her, was filled with life and he thought he had never seen, nor ever would see, a woman so lovely. So lovely that Sharpe leaned forward and kissed her. She pushed him away and he stepped back, mortified, readying incoherent apologies, but she was only extricating her arms that had been trapped between their bodies and once they were free she snaked them around his neck and pulled his face to hers and kissed him so fiercely that Sharpe tasted blood from her lip. She sighed, then placed her cheek against his. “Oh, God,” she said softly, “I wanted you to do that since the moment I first saw you.”
Sharpe hid his astonishment. “I thought you hadn’t noticed me.”
“Then you are a fool, Richard Sharpe.”
“And you, my lady?”
She pulled her head back, leaving her arms about his neck. “Oh, I’m a fool. I know that. How old are you?”
“Twenty-eight, milady, as near as I know.”
She smiled and he thought he had never seen a face so transformed by joy, then she leaned forward and kissed him lightly on the lips. “My name is Grace,” she said quietly, “and why only as near as you know?”
“I never knew my mother or father.”
“Never? So who raised you?”
“I wasn’t really raised, ma’am. Sorry. Grace.” He blushed as he said it, for though he could imagine kissing her, and though he could imagine laying her on a bed, he could not accustom himself to using her name. “I was in a foundling home for a few years, one that were attached to a workhouse, and after that I fended for myself.”
“I’m twenty-eight too,” she said, “and I don’t think I’ve ever been happy. That’s why I’m a fool.” Sharpe said nothing, but just stared at her in disbelief. She saw his incredulity and laughed. “It’s true, Richard.”
“Why?”
There was a murmur of voices from the quarterdeck and a sudden glow of light as the compass in the lantern-lit binnacle was unshielded. Lady Grace stepped away from Sharpe and he from her, and both instinctively turned to stare at the sea. The binnacle light vanished. Lady Grace said nothing for a while and Sharpe wondered if she was regretting what had happened, but then she spoke softly. “You’re like a weed, Richard. You can grow anywhere. A big, strong weed and you’ve probably got thorns and stinging leaves. But I was like a rose in a garden: trained and cut back and pampered, but not allowed to grow anywhere except where the gardener wanted me.” She shrugged. “I’m not seeking your pity, Richard. You should never waste pity on the privileged. I’m just talking to find out why I’m here with you.”
“Why are you?”
“Because I’m lonely,” she answered firmly, “and unhappy and because you intrigue me.” She reached out and touched a very gentle finger to the scar on his right cheek. “You’re a horribly good-looking man, Richard Sharpe, but if I met you in a London street I’d be very frightened of your face.”
“Bad and dangerous,” Sharpe said, “that’s me.”
“And I’m here,” Lady Grace went on, “because there is a joy in doing things we know we should not do. What Captain Cromwell calls our baser instincts, I suppose, and I suppose it will end in tears, but that does not preclude the joy.” She frowned at him. “You look very cruel sometimes. Are you cruel?”
“No,” Sharpe said. “Perhaps to the King’s enemies. Perhaps to my enemies, but only if they’re as strong as I am. I’m a soldier, not a bully.”