Sinner by Sara Douglass. Book One of The Wayfarer Redemption

“What!” Leagh pulled her hands from his and leaned back, utterly shocked.

“Leagh, listen to me! For some time now representations from Carlon and the West have pleaded with me to restore the throne of Achar, restore the Acharites’ pride and nationhood.”

“I don’t believe you!”

“Damn it, Leagh! Why do you think Theod and Herme ride with me?”

“For their own gain?”

“Ah! Leagh, did you never walk beyond your own apartments in your palace in Carlon? Have you never listened to the hearts of those who thronged the streets?”

She was silent, but she dropped her eyes.

“Leagh, there is far more involved than you or I, or my quarrel with Caelum and Askam. This involves an entire people, their wants and needs. Leagh… my love… I ask you to say nothing at this time. I hope that when we arrive in Carlon you will see that this is not of my wishing, but of the wishing of a people.”

“My loyalties -” she began.

“Your loyalties and your responsibility should always be to your people, Leagh. Not to me, not to Askam, not even to Caelum.”

“My loyalty is to the Throne of the Stars, as should yours be!”

“No,” Zared said very softly, and took her hands again. “Our loyalty should always be to the people we represent, to those who look to us for leadership and protection. Leagh, I need you to understand this. I do not seek the throne of Achar through personal ambition, but through the wishes of the Acharites and a need to right the wrong that has been done to them, not just the unfair taxation burden that only the Acharites have been forced to shoulder, but the fact that Axis stripped our people – our people, damn it! – of their nationality and pride.”

“And me?”

“You? Leagh, I love you heart and soul, and for that reason alone I want you as my wife. But I also love you for what you represent – a chance for the rift between West and North to be healed.”

“You want the lands of the West!”

“If it would help reunite the Acharites as a people, then, yes, I do,” he said bluntly.

She was silent, trying to absorb his words.

“Leagh,” he said, “I have been utterly honest with you here today, and I regret that I have not been previously. You and I are not carter and laundress, with no responsibilities other than those our honest occupations demand. We both represent massive numbers of people and vast areas of land. Of course those responsibilities impinge on our relationship, and on how we view each other.”

He sighed, and lifted one hand to cup her face. “Leagh, I love you as a woman first and foremost, I love your strength and your courage, your wit and your laughter. I also know how advantageous a marriage between us would be, not personally, but to the people we represent. Do you know what I am saying?”

She nodded. “We are man and woman, but we are also greater than that. We cannot regard marriage as a personal contract, but as a contract between people.”

“And so,” he said softly, “we must take into account the wishes of our own people in our marriage. Leagh, I want you for my wife. When we get to Carlon I hope that you will see that your people want me for your husband. Will you accept their wishes in your answer?”

She thought a long time, staring vaguely out the window.

When she finally looked back at him, Zared could see tears brimming in her eyes.

“If Carlon wants you as King, Zared, if I think that the people of the West want what you do, then, yes, I will be your wife.”

Zared relaxed, and leaned forward and kissed her.

“Then don your riding clothes, my love, for tonight we ride.”

Faraday’s Lie Niah linked her arm with Faraday’s as they strolled through the orchard. “I am so glad we have this opportunity to talk,” Niah said, and gave Faraday’s arm a gentle squeeze.

“You are?”

“How long have you been here? Ten days? And in that time I have barely seen you. I have had to learn your history from the gossip of the priestesses’ table.”

Faraday laughed. “I cannot imagine they painted a pretty picture of me!”

“Oh, but you are wrong! The priestesses admire you enormously. The First told me that, with Azhure,” Niah paused to take a proud breath as she said her daughter’s name, “you were primarily responsible for Axis’ success against Gorgrael.”

Faraday’s face lost its laughter, but Niah did not notice.

“You planted out the entire Minstrelsea by yourself? And the Avar were yours to command?”

“It wasn’t quite like that -”

“And you wielded such power! Faraday, I am in awe.”

“You also had your part to play.”

Niah shrugged. “I bore a daughter.”

“And you died for her.”

“You died for Tencendor.”

They walked some way in silence, each lost in her own thoughts. Only once they reached the southern cliffs did Niah resume the conversation.

“And, having died, here we both are. Free to do as we will, free on this beautiful and magical island.”

“One of us is not quite free.” This was the opening Faraday had been waiting for. She had spent much time with StarDrifter, talking with him about Niah, wondering how best to free Zenith. This was a risk, but it had to be taken.

“Oh?” Niah said, and halted, pulling Faraday to a stop beside her. “And how are you not free, Faraday?”

“It was not myself of whom I spoke,” Faraday said gently, looking Niah in the eye.

Niah dropped her arm from Faraday’s. “I have done nothing wrong.”

“We have both come back from the dead,” Faraday continued. “But I have not taken over someone else’s -”

“I have not’taken over someone else’!” Niah countered. “I am me, I always have been! I -”

“Niah -”

“Zenith never existed! She was only waiting to realise her true self. Me!”

“Niah, please, hear me out. I do not mean to make you angry, but -”

“I am no-one but Niah! I never have been!”

“StarDrifter tells me that your mannerisms are different, the way you react to things, even your laughter. You are not the same -”

“My handwriting is the same! My tastes! Do not argue that -”

“Niah! Listen to me!” Faraday’s voice was unusually sharp, and Niah subsided.

“Niah, can you not see that Zenith was a different woman? She loved to fly, you loathe it – why, if you were always her? Do you not remember how it felt to soar?” Niah was silent, her face set in stubborn lines. “Niah, believe me, I do not begrudge you your grab at life. It-”

“It was promised me! And can you stand here and begrudge me my second chance at life when… how many chances have you had? Two? Three?”

“I have never taken over someone else’s life,” Faraday repeated. “I have retransformed within the same world and within the same existence. Niah… in the manner of things, whoever dies is always reborn at some point. A soul inhabits the empty shell of a growing foetus. A soul cannot – should not – inhabit an already occupied and whole body.”

Niah turned her back to Faraday, staring out over the choppy grey sea.

“Niah, surely you can see that merely by waiting -” “I have waited long enough!” Niah yelled, still refusing to look at Faraday. “WolfStar promised me that I would be reborn, and I have! And this time into a SunSoar body so that he can and will love me for eternity!”

Faraday sighed quietly. In this Niah was right. To live an eternity with WolfStar would require SunSoar blood to hold him.

“But it does not solve the problem of Zenith,” she tried again.

Now Niah did face her. “Zenith never existed,” she said firmly. “Never. There was only me, waiting to be acknowledged.”

Then her face changed. It lit up, radiating joy and she stared at Faraday as if she were the only meaning in Niah’s life.

Faraday frowned, then realised Niah was staring at a point some distance beyond herself.

Niah gave a glad cry, picked up her skirts, and rushed past Faraday into WolfStar’s arms. “Beloved!”

Faraday silently cursed. Not only at WolfStar’s untimely intrusion – had he appeared thinking that Faraday might persuade Niah to relinquish control of Zenith’s body? – but also at Niah’s sheer determination. Was Zenith still there? Faraday did not know, and she wondered if StarDrifter’s faith that Zenith still existed was warranted.

Despite her irritation, Faraday composed herself, and faced the lovers.

Niah was wrapped in WolfStar’s arms, locked in a passionate embrace. Faraday raised an eyebrow. Was this love on WolfStar’s part, or simple lust? She did not know if he was capable of true love.