Sketches New and Old by Mark Twain

inscrutable reason, deliberately burned down “houses” (or cabins) valued

at $600, the same belonging to a peaceable private citizen, and also

destroyed various other property belonging to the same citizen. But

Congress declined to believe that the troops were such idiots (after

overtaking and scattering a band of Indians proved to have been found

destroying Fisher’s property) as to calmly continue the work of

destruction themselves; and make a complete job of what the Indians had

only commenced. So Congress denied the petition of the heirs of George

Fisher in 1832, and did not pay them a cent.

We hear no more from them officially until 1848, sixteen years after

their first attempt on the Treasury, and a full generation after the

death of the man whose fields were destroyed. The new generation of

Fisher heirs then came forward and put in a bill for damages. The Second

Auditor awarded them $8,873, being half the damage sustained by Fisher.

The Auditor said the testimony showed that at least half the destruction

was done by the Indians “before the troops started in pursuit,” and of

course the government was not responsible for that half.

2. That was in April, 1848. In December, 1848, the heirs of George

Fisher, deceased, came forward and pleaded for a “revision” of their bill

of damages. The revision was made, but nothing new could be found in

their favor except an error of $100 in the former calculation. However,

in order to keep up the spirits of the Fisher family, the Auditor

concluded to go back and allow interest from the date of the first

petition (1832) to the date when the bill of damages was awarded. This

sent the Fishers home happy with sixteen years’ interest on $8,873–the

same amounting to $8,997.94. Total, $17,870.94.

3 . For an entire year the suffering Fisher family remained quiet–even

satisfied, after a fashion. Then they swooped down upon the government

with their wrongs once more. That old patriot, Attorney-General Toucey,

burrowed through the musty papers of the Fishers and discovered one more

chance for the desolate orphans–interest on that original award of

$8,873 from date of destruction of the property (1813) up to 1832!

Result, $110,004.89 for the indigent Fishers. So now we have: First,

$8,873 damages; second, interest on it from 1832 to 1848, $8997.94;

third, interest on it dated back to 1813, $10,004.89. Total, $27,875.83!

What better investment for a great-grandchild than to get the Indians to

burn a corn-field for him sixty or seventy years before his birth, and

plausibly lay it on lunatic United States troops?

4. Strange as it may seem, the Fishers let Congress alone for five

years–or, what is perhaps more likely, failed to make themselves heard

by Congress for that length of time. But at last, in 1854, they got a

hearing. They persuaded Congress to pass an act requiring the Auditor to

re-examine their case. But this time they stumbled upon the misfortune

of an honest Secretary of the Treasury (Mr. James Guthrie), and he

spoiled everything. He said in very plain language that the Fishers were

not only not entitled to another cent, but that those children of many

sorrows and acquainted with grief had been paid too much already.

5. Therefore another interval of rest and silent ensued-an interval

which lasted four years–viz till 1858. The “right man in the right

place” was then Secretary of War–John B. Floyd, of peculiar renown!

Here was a master intellect; here was the very man to succor the

suffering heirs of dead and forgotten Fisher. They came up from Florida

with a rush–a great tidal wave of Fishers freighted with the same old

musty documents about the same in immortal corn-fields of their ancestor.

They straight-way got an act passed transferring the Fisher matter from

the dull Auditor to the ingenious Floyd. What did Floyd do? He said,

“IT WAS PROVED that the Indians destroyed everything they could before

the troops entered in pursuit.” He considered, therefore, that what they

destroyed must have consisted of “the houses with all their contents, and

the liquor” (the most trifling part of the destruction, and set down at

only $3,200 all told), and that the government troops then drove them off

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