Sketches New and Old by Mark Twain

of George Fisher, deceased.

DOL.C

1813.–To 550 head of cattle, at 10 dollars, …………. 5,500.00

To 86 head of drove hogs, ……………………. 1,204.00

To 350 head of stock hogs, …………………… 1,750.00

To 100 ACRES OF CORN ON BASSETT’S CREEK, ………. 6,000.00

To 8 barrels of whisky, ……………………… 350.00

To 2 barrels of brandy, ……………………… 280.00

To 1 barrel of rum, …………………………. 70.00

To dry-goods and merchandise in store, ………… 1,100.00

To 35 acres of wheat, ……………………….. 350.00

To 2,000 hides, …………………………….. 4,000.00

To furs and hats in store, …………………… 600.00

To crockery ware in store, …………………… 100.00

To smith’s and carpenter’s tools, …………….. 250.00

To houses burned and destroyed, ………………. 600.00

To 4 dozen bottles of wine, ………………….. 48.00

1814.–To 120 acres of corn on Alabama River, ………… 9,500.00

To crops of peas, fodder, etc. ……………….. 3,250.00

Total, ……………………..34,952.00

To interest on $22,202, from July 1813

to November 1860, 47 years and 4 months, …….63,053.68

To interest on $12,750, from September

1814 to November I86o, 46 years and 2 months, ..35,317.50

Total, …………………… 133,323.18

He puts everything in this time. He does not even allow that the Indians

destroyed the crockery or drank the four dozen bottles of (currant) wine.

When it came to supernatural comprehensiveness in “gobbling,” John B.

Floyd was without his equal, in his own or any other generation.

Subtracting from the above total the $67,000 already paid to

George Fisher’s implacable heirs, Mr. Floyd announced that the government

was still indebted to them in the sum of sixty-six thousand five hundred

and nineteen dollars and eighty-five cents, “which,” Mr. Floyd

complacently remarks, “will be paid, accordingly, to the administrator of

the estate of George Fisher, deceased, or to his attorney in fact.”

But, sadly enough for the destitute orphans, a new President came in just

at this time, Buchanan and Floyd went out, and they never got their

money. The first thing Congress did in 1861 was to rescind the

resolution of June 1, 1860, under which Mr. Floyd had been ciphering.

Then Floyd (and doubtless the heirs of George Fisher likewise) had to

give up financial business for a while, and go into the Confederate army

and serve their country.

Were the heirs of George Fisher killed? No. They are back now at this

very time (July, 1870), beseeching Congress through that blushing and

diffident creature, Garrett Davis, to commence making payments again on

their interminable and insatiable bill of damages for corn and whisky

destroyed by a gang of irresponsible Indians, so long ago that even

government red-tape has failed to keep consistent and intelligent track

of it.

Now the above are facts. They are history. Any one who doubts it can

send to the Senate Document Department of the Capitol for H. R. Ex. Doc.

No. 21, 36th Congress, 2d Session; and for S. Ex. Doc. No. 106, 41st

Congress, 2d Session, and satisfy himself. The whole case is set forth

in the first volume of the Court of Claims Reports.

It is my belief that as long as the continent of America holds together,

the heirs of George Fisher, deceased, will still make pilgrimages to

Washington from the swamps of Florida, to plead for just a little more

cash on their bill of damages (even when they received the last of that

sixty-seven thousand dollars, they said it was only one fourth what the

government owed them on that fruitful corn-field), and as long as they

choose to come they will find Garrett Davises to drag their vampire

schemes before Congress. This is not the only hereditary fraud (if fraud

it is–which I have before repeatedly remarked is not proven) that is

being quietly handed down from generation to generation of fathers and

sons, through the persecuted Treasury of the United States.

DISGRACEFUL PERSECUTION OF A BOY

In San Francisco, the other day, “A well-dressed boy, on his way to

Sunday-school, was arrested and thrown into the city prison for stoning

Chinamen.”

What a commentary is this upon human justice! What sad prominence it

gives to our human disposition to tyrannize over the weak! San Francisco

has little right to take credit to herself for her treatment of this poor

boy. What had the child’s education been? How should he suppose it was

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