shoulder and a bundle of something in its hand. I knew what the
clack-clacking was then; it was this party’s joints working together,
and his elbows knocking against his sides as he walked. I may say I was
surprised. Before I could collect my thoughts and enter upon any
speculations as to what this apparition might portend, I heard another
one coming for I recognized his clack-clack. He had two-thirds of a
coffin on his shoulder, and some foot and head boards under his arm.
I mightily wanted, to peer under his hood and speak to him, but when he
turned and smiled upon me with his cavernous sockets and his projecting
grin as he went by, I thought I would not detain him. He was hardly gone
when I heard the clacking again, and another one issued from the shadowy
half-light. This one was bending under a heavy gravestone, and dragging
a shabby coffin after him by a string. When he got to me he gave me a
steady look for a moment or two, and then rounded to and backed up to me,
saying:
“Ease this down for a fellow, will you?”
I eased the gravestone down till it rested on the ground, and in doing so
noticed that it bore the name of “John Baxter Copmanhurst,”with “May,
1839,” as the date of his death. Deceased sat wearily down by me, and
wiped his os frontis with his major maxillary–chiefly from former habit
I judged, for I could not see that he brought away any perspiration.
“It is too bad, too bad,” said he, drawing the remnant of the shroud
about him and leaning his jaw pensively on his hand. Then he put his
left foot up on his knee and fell to scratching his anklebone absently
with a rusty nail which he got out of his coffin.
“What is too bad, friend?”
“Oh, everything, everything. I almost wish I never had died.”
“You surprise me. Why do you say this? Has anything gone wrong? What
is the matter?”
“Matter! Look at this shroud-rags. Look at this gravestone, all
battered up. Look at that disgraceful old coffin. All a man’s property
going to ruin and destruction before his eyes, and ask him if anything is
wrong? Fire and brimstone!”
“Calm yourself, calm yourself,” I said. “It is too bad-it is certainly
too bad, but then I had not supposed that you would much mind such
matters situated as you are.”
“Well, my dear sir, I do mind them. My pride is hurt, and my comfort is
impaired–destroyed, I might say. I will state my case–I will put it to
you in such a way that you can comprehend it, if you will let me,” said
the poor skeleton, tilting the hood of his shroud back, as if he were
clearing for action, and thus unconsciously giving himself a jaunty and
festive air very much at variance with the grave character of his
position in life–so to speak–and in prominent contrast with his
distressful mood.
“Proceed,” said I.
“I reside in the shameful old graveyard a block or two above you here,
in this street–there, now, I just expected that cartilage would let go!-
-third rib from the bottom, friend, hitch the end of it to my spine with
a string, if you have got such a thing about you, though a bit of silver
wire is a deal pleasanter, and more durable and becoming, if one keeps it
polished–to think of shredding out and going to pieces in this way, just
on account of the indifference and neglect of one’s posterity!” –and the
poor ghost grated his teeth in a way that gave me a wrench and a shiver
–for the effect is mightily increased by the absence of muffling flesh
and cuticle. “I reside in that old graveyard, and have for these thirty
years; and I tell you things are changed since I first laid this old
tired frame there, and turned over, and stretched out for a long sleep,
with a delicious sense upon me of being done with bother, and grief,
and anxiety, and doubt, and fear, forever and ever, and listening with
comfortable and increasing satisfaction to the sexton’s work, from the