‘What the blazes?’ asked Dan.
‘They’re repairing the damage,’ explained The Journalist, Yassaccans are like that! They hate injuring hardware!’
‘What about software?’ asked Lucy, readjusting her bra.
‘We’ll need guns!’ yelled The Journalist. ‘Follow me!’ The three of them ran, doubled-up, out of the Captain’s Bridge, while the enemy’s hammering and welding outside gathered in intensity.
Meanwhile the voice boomed out over the loudspeakers again: ‘We shall recommence our attack, as soon as the first damage has been repaired! If you do not surrender, we shall board and dispose of everyone we find!’
In the crew’s quarters, The Journalist discovered an arms cache. He handed out weapons to Dan and Lucy.
‘How do we use them?’ asked Dan, turning a strange gun over in his hand. It had a short thingy and bulbous side-thingies and a sort of thingy that stuck out and which Dan pushed: a laser beam shot out across the Crew Room and exploded in a fireball at the other end.
‘Like that,’ explained The Journalist, ‘except don’t point them at the soft furnishings.’ He rushed over to the flaming curtain that Dan had just set on fire and grabbed an extinguisher.
‘We can’t use these!’ cried Lucy.
‘Then you’ll just have to get used to the idea of being thrown off the ship into deep space. These Yassaccans are not playing games. Here! Dan! Put this on!’ He threw Dan a helmet.
‘What is it?’ asked Dan.
‘The Starship has two realities; one is the DataSide and the other is the MatterSide. When the Yassaccans board, they’ll try to take over the DataSide as well as the MatterSide. So one of us better be prepared to confront them there!’
‘I have no idea what you’re talking about,’ replied Dan.
‘It’s a VR helmet – a Virtual Reality helmet. You put it on, you’ll be able to explore the DataSide and check whatever the Yassaccans get up to there!’ The Journalist was clearly losing patience.
‘Just put it on!’ shouted Lucy.
The noise from the repairs on the hull was getting unbearable.
‘What the heck are they doing out there?’ exclaimed Dan.
‘Just put on the helmet!’ cried Lucy. At which Dan did.
‘Wow!’ he exclaimed. ‘I see what you mean! I’m right in the ship… Hey! This is great! I can get into the consoles! Wow! Now I’m running along the wiring! Hey! The circuit-boards are like vast cities! Shit!’
The moment he had the helmet on, The Journalist grabbed Lucy and started kissing her as if there were no tomorrow which, he figured, might well be the case. And, as if shed been expecting this all along, Lucy started to kiss him, but then she suddenly pulled back, and glanced anxiously over at Dan, who was climbing some invisible stairs in his Virtual Reality and then turning around and handling invisible objects and letting out delighted yelps.
‘Oh don’t worry about him!’ panted The Journalist. ‘He can’t hear or see us. We’re still MatterSide. He’ll be totally absorbed in that thing – it’s always the same – first time you put on one of those you’re usually off for five or six hours! Let’s do it!’
But still Lucy pushed him away. ‘The Yassaccans are invading the ship!’ she protested.
‘That’s right!’ replied The Journalist. ‘We’ve hardly got time to do it before they arrive! Quick!’
‘Is that all you can think about!?’ groaned Lucy. The Journalist was now nuzzling her neck and sending excited shivers down her spine.
‘I told you – once we Blerontinian males get aroused…’
‘Arrgh!’ Lucy suddenly screamed. ‘And what about the bomb?!’
Pangalin!’ exclaimed The Journalist. ‘I’d forgotten about that!’ He suddenly whipped a small handset out of one of his many pockets and flipped it on.
‘Twenty-five… twenty-four… twenty-three…’ The bomb was counting.
‘Toothless rabbits!’ yelled The Journalist, ‘it’s nearly there!’
‘Twenty-two…’ said the bomb.
‘Hey! Bomb!’ yelled The Journalist into the phone.
‘Don’t talk to me!’ moaned the bomb. ‘I’m nearly there.. twenty-three… no, I’ve done that…’
‘We’re being invaded!’ shouted The Joumalist. ‘Twenty-oh… no! Damn! Recommencing countdown. One thousand…’
The Journalist flipped the phone off and started kissing Lucy’s neck and undoing her suit. ‘That was close!’ he breathed.