of me and what they expect. Nobody even asked me if I took the milk-money that
time. I just got a three-day vacation.’
‘Did you take it?’ I asked. I had never asked him before, and if you had told me
I ever would, I would have called you crazy. The words came out in a little dry bullet.
‘Yeah,’ he said. ‘Yeah, I took it.’ He was silent for a moment, looking ahead at
Teddy and Vern. ‘You knew I took it, Teddy knew, everybody knew. Even Vern knew,
I think.’
I started to deny it, and then closed my mouth. He was right. No matter what I
might have said to my mother and father about how a person was supposed to be
innocent until proved guilty, I had known.
‘Then maybe I was sorry and tried to give it back,’ Chris said.
I stared at him, my eyes widening. ‘You tried to give it back!’
‘Maybe, I said. Just maybe. And maybe I took it to old lady Simons and told
her, and maybe the money was all there and I got a three-day vacation anyway,
because the money never showed up. And maybe the next week old lady Simons had
this brand-new skirt on when she came to school.’
I stared at Chris, speechless with horror. He smiled at me, but it was a crimped,
terrible smile that never touched his eyes.
‘Just maybe,’ he said, but I remembered the new skirt–a light brown paisley,
sort of full. I remembered thinking that it made old lady Simons look younger, almost
pretty.
‘Chris, how much was that milk-money?’
‘Almost seven bucks.’
‘Christ,’ I whispered.
‘So I just say that I stole the milk-money but then old lady Simons stole it from
me. Just suppose. Then suppose I told that story. Me, Chris Chambers. Kid brother of
Frank Chambers and Eyeball Chambers. You think anybody would have believed it?’
‘No way,’ I whispered. ‘Jesus, Chris!’
He smiled his wintry, awful smile. ‘And do you think that bitch would have
dared try something like that if it had been one of those dootchbags from up on The
View that had taken the money?’
‘No,’ I said.
‘Yeah. If it had been one of them, Simons would have said ‘kay, ‘kay, we’ll
forget it this time, but we’re gonna spank your wrist real hard and if you ever do it
again we’ll have to spank both wrists. But me… well, maybe she had her eye on that skirt for a long time.
Anyway, she saw her chance and she took it. I was the stupid one for even
trying to give that money back. But I never thought… I never thought that a teacher…
oh who gives a fuck, anyway? Why am I even -talkin’ about it?’
He swiped an arm angrily across his eyes and I realized he was almost crying.
‘Chris,’ I said, ‘why don’t you go into the college courses? You’re smart
enough.’
‘They decide all of that in the office. And in their smart little conferences. The
teachers, they sit around in this big circle-jerk and all they say is Yeah, Yeah, Right, Right All they give a fuck about is whether you behaved yourself in grammar school
and what the town thinks of your family. All they’re deciding is whether or not you’ll contaminate all those precious college-course dootchbags. But maybe I’ll try to work
myself up. I don’t know if I could do it, but I might try. Because I want to get out of Castle Rock and go to college and never see my old man or any of my brothers again.
I want to go someplace where nobody knows me and I don’t have any black marks
against me before I start. But I don’t know if I can do it.’
‘Why not?’
‘People. People drag you down.’
‘Who?’ I asked, thinking he must mean the teachers, or adult monsters like
Miss Simons, who had wanted a new skirt, or maybe his brother Eyeball who hung
around with Ace and Billy and Charlie and the rest, or maybe his own Mom and Dad.
But he said: ‘Your friends drag you down, Gordie. Don’t you know that?’ He