Lupe gives him a smile, and when he smiles, he is more beautiful than ever. “Just out there, having a smoke,”
he says. “It was too nice to come in. Didn’t you see me?”
” As a matter of fact, I did,” Callahan said. “You looked lost in your own little world, and I didn’t want to interrupt you. Open the storage-room door for me, would you?”
Lupe opens the door. “That looks like a really nice pair,” he says. “Bally. What’s someone doing, leaving Bally shoes for the drunks’?”
” Someone must have changed his mind about them,” Callahan says. He hears the bells, that poison sweetness, and grits his teeth against the sound. The world seems to shimmer for a moment. Not now, he thinks. Ah, not now, please.
It’s not a prayer, he prays little these days, but maybe something hears, because the sound of the chimes fades. The world steadies. From the other room someone is bawling for supper. Someone else is cursing.
Same old same old. And he wants a drink. That’s the same, too, only the craving is fiercer than it’s ever been.
He keeps thinking about how the rubber grip felt in his hand. The weight of the cleaver. The sound it made.
And the taste is back in his mouth. The dead taste of Barlow’s blood. That, too. What did the vampire say in the Petries’ kitchen, after it had broken the crucifix his mother had given him ? That it was sad to see a man’s faith fail.
I’ll sit in on the AA meeting tonight, he thinks, putting a rubber band around the Bally loafers and tossing them in with the rest of the footwear. Sometimes the meetings help. He never says, “I’m Don and I’m an alcoholic,” but sometimes they help.
Lupe is so close behind him when he turns around that he gasps a little.
“Easy, boy,” Lupe says, laughing. He scratches his throat casually. The marks are still there, but they’ll be gone in the morning. Still, Callahan knows the vampires see something. Or smell it. Or some damn thing.
“Listen,” he says to Lupe, “I’ve been thinking about getting out of the city for a week or two. A little R and R.
Why don’t we go together? We could go upstate. Do some fishing.”
“Can’t,” Lupe says. “I don’t have any vacation time coming at the hotel until June, and besides, we’re shorthanded here. But if you want to go, I’ll square it with Rowan. No problem.” Lupe looks at him closely.
“You could use some time off, looks like. You look tired. And you’re jumpy.”
“Nah, it was just an idea,” Callahan says. He’s not going anywhere. If he stays, maybe he can watch out for Lupe. And he knows something now. Killing them is no harder than swatting bugs on a wall. And they don’t leave much behind. E-ZKleen-Up, as they say in the TV ads. Lupe will be all right. The Type Threes like Mr.
Mark Cross Briefcase don’t seem to kill their prey, or even change them. At least not that he can see, not over the short term. But he will watch, he can do that much. He will mount a guard. It will be one small act of atonement for Jerusalem’s Lot. And Lupe will be all right.
ELEVEN
“Except he wasn’t,” Roland said. He was carefully rolling a cigarette from the crumbs at the bottom of his poke. The paper was brittle, the tobacco really not much more than dust.
“No,” Callahan agreed. “He wasn’t. Roland, I have no cigarette papers, but I can do you better for a smoke than that. There’s good tobacco in the house, from down south. I don’t use it, but Rosalita sometimes likes a pipe in the evening.”
“I’ll take you up on that later and say thankya,” the gunslinger said. “I don’t miss it as much as coffee, but almost. Finish your tale. Leave nothing out, I think it’s important we hear it all, but—”
“I know. Time is short.”
“Yes,” Roland said. “Time is short.”
“Then briefly put, my friend contracted this disease—AIDS became the name of choice?”
He was looking at Eddie, who nodded.
“All right,” Callahan said. “It’s as good a name as any, I guess, although the first thing I think of when I hear that word is a kind of diet candy. You may know it doesn’t always spread fast, but in my friend’s case, it moved like a fire in straw. By mid-May of 1976, Lupe Delgado was very ill. He lost his color. He was feverish a lot of the time. He’d sometimes spend the whole night in the bathroom, vomiting. Rowan would have banned him from the kitchen, but he didn’t need to—Lupe banned himself. And then the blemishes began to show up.”
“They called those Eaposi’s sarcoma, I think,” Eddie said. “A skin disease. Disfiguring.”
Callahan nodded. “Three weeks after the blemishes started showing up, Lupe was in New York General.
Rowan Magruder and I went to see him one night in late June. Up until then we’d been telling each other he’d turn it around, come out of it better than ever, hell, he was young and strong. But that night we knew the minute we were in the door that he was all through. He was in an oxygen tent. There were IV lines running into his arms. He was in terrible pain. He didn’t want us to get close to him. It might be catching, he said. In truth, no one seemed to know much about it.”
“Which made it scarier than ever,” Susannah said.
“Yes. He said the doctors believed it was a blood disease spread by homosexual activity, or maybe by sharing needles. And what he wanted us to know, what he kept saying over and over again, was that he was clean, all the drug tests came back negative. ‘Not since nineteen-seventy,’ he kept saying. ‘Not one toke off one joint. I swear to God.’ We said we knew he was clean. We sat on either side of his bed and he took our hands.”
Callahan swallowed. There was an audible click in his throat.
“Our hands… he made us wash them before we left. Just in case, he said. And he thanked us for coming. He told Rowan that Home was the best thing that ever happened to him. That as far as he was concerned, it really was home.
“I never wanted a drink as badly as I did that night, leaving New York General. I kept Rowan right beside me, though, and the two of us walked past all the bars. That night I went to bed sober, but I lay there knowing it was really just a matter of time. The first drink is the one that gets you drunk, that’s what they say in
Alcoholics Anonymous, and mine was somewhere close. Somewhere a bartender was just waiting for me to come in so he could pour it out.
“Two nights later, Lupe died.”
“There must have been three hundred people at the funeral, almost all of them people who’d spent time in Home. There was a lot of crying and a lot of wonderful things said, some by folks who probably couldn’t have walked a chalk line. When it was over, Rowan Magruder took me by the arm and said, “I don’t know who you are, Don, but I know what you are— one hell of a good man and one hell of a bad drunk who’s been dry for… how long has it been?”
“I thought about going on with the bullshit, but it just seemed like too much work. ‘Since October of last year,’ I said.
” ‘You want one now,’ he said. ‘That’s all over your face. So I tell you what: if you think taking a drink will bring Lupe back, you have my permission. In fact, come get me and we’ll go down to the Blarney Stone together and drink up what’s in my wallet first. Okay?’
” ‘Okay,’ I said.”
“He said, “You getting drunk today would be the worst memorial to Lupe I could think of. Like pissing in his dead face.’
“He was right, and I knew it. I spent the rest of that day the way I spent my second one in New York, walking around, fighting that taste in my mouth, fighting the urge to score a bottle and stake out a park bench. I remember being on Broadway, then over on Tenth Avenue, then way down at Park and Thirtieth. By then it was getting dark, cars going both ways on Park with their lights on. The sky all orange and pink in the west, and the streets full of this gorgeous long light.
“A sense of peace came over me, and I thought, ‘I’m going to win. Tonight at least, I’m going to win.’ And that was when the chimes started. The loudest ever. I felt as if my head would burst. Park Avenue shimmered in front of me and I thought, Why, it’s not real at all. Not Park Avenue, not any of it. It’s just a gigantic swatch of canvas. New York is nothing but a backdrop painted on that canvas, and what’s behind it? Why, nothing.