‘Vera.’
‘I’ve got to tell him that God’s plan…
‘Vera.’
She turned to him, but her eyes were far away, with her Johnny.
He went to her and put his hands on her shoulders.
‘You tell him that you love him… that you prayed… waited … watched. Who has a better right? You’re his mother. You bled for him. Haven’t I watched you bleed for him over the last five years? I’m not sorry he’s back with us, you were wrong to say that. I don’t think I can make of it what you do, but I’m not sorry. I bled for him, too.’
‘Did you?’ Her eyes were flinty, proud, and unbelieving.
‘Yes. And I’m going to tell you something else, Vera. You’re going to keep your trap shut about God and miracles and Great Plans until Johnny’s up on his feet and able to…’
‘I’ll say what I have to say!’
… and able to think what he’s doing. What I’m saying is that you’re going to give him a chance to make something of it for himself before you start in on him.’
‘You have no right to talk to me that way! No right at all!’
‘I’m exercising my right as Johnny’s dad,’ he said grimly. ‘Maybe for the last time in my life. And you better not get in my way, Vera. You understand? Not you, not God. not the bleeding holy Jesus. You follow?’
She glared at him sullenly and said nothing.
‘He’s going to have enough to do just coping with the idea that he’s been out like a light for four-and-a-half years. We don’t know if he’ll be able to walk again, in spite of the therapist that came in. We do know there’ll have to be an operation on his ligaments, if he even wants to try; Weizak told us that. Probably more than one. And more therapy, and a lot of it’s going to hurt him like hell. So tomorrow you’re just going to be his mother.’
‘Don’t you dare talk to me that way! Don’t you dare!’
‘If you start sermonizing, Vera, I’ll drag you out of his room by the hair of your head.’
She stared at him, white-faced and trembling. Joy and fury were at war in her eyes.
‘You better get dressed,’ Herb said. ‘We ought to get going.’
It was a long, silent ride up to Bangor. The happiness they should have felt between them was not there; only Vera’s hot and militant joy. She sat bolt upright in the passenger seat, her Bible in her lap, open to the twenty-third Psalm.
6.
At quarter of nine the next morning, Marie came into Johnny’s room and said, ‘Your mom and dad are here, if you’re up to seeing them.’
‘Yes, I’d like that.’ He felt much better this morning, stronger and less disoriented. But the thought of seeing them scared him a little. In terms of his conscious recollection, he had seen them about five months ago. His father had been working on the foundation of a house that had now probably been standing for three years or more. His mom had fixed him home-baked beans and apple pie for dessert and had clucked over how thin he was getting.
He caught Marie’s hand weakly as she turned to go.
‘Do they look all right? I mean…’
‘They look fine.’
‘Oh. Good.’
‘You can only have half an hour with them now. Some more time this evening if the neurology series doesn’t prove too tiring.’
‘Dr. Brown’s orders?’
‘And Dr. Weizak’s.’
‘All right. For a while. I’m not sure how long I want to be poked and prodded.’
Marie hesitated.
‘Something?’ Johnny asked.
‘No… not now. You must be anxious to see your folks. I’ll send them in.’
He waited, nervous. The other bed was empty; the cancer patient had been moved out while Johnny slept off his Valium pop.
The door opened. His mother and father came in. Johnny felt simultaneous shock and relief: shock because they had aged, it was all true; relief because the changes in them did not yet seem mortal. And if that could be said of them, perhaps it could be said of him as well.