“It’s just a plain old urinary infection,” I said. “My mother used to say boys got them from taking a leak when the north wind was blowing.”
“Your mother also used to stay in all day if she spilled the salt,” my wife said. “Dr Sadler-”
“No, sir,” I said, raising my hand. “He’ll want me to take sulfa, and I’ll be throwing up in every comer of my office by the end of the week. It’ll run its course, but in the meantime, I guess we best stay out of the playground.”
She kissed my forehead right over my left eyebrow, which always gives me the prickles … as Janice well knew. “Poor baby. As if that awful Percy Wetmore wasn’t enough. Come to bed soon!’
I did, but before I did, I stepped out onto the back porch to empty out (and checked the wind direction with a wet thumb before I did – what our parents tell us when we are small seldom goes ignored, no matter how foolish it may be). Peeing outdoors is one joy of country living the poets never quite got around to, but it was no joy that night; the water coming out of me burned like a line of lit coal-oil. Yet I thought it had been a little worse that afternoon, and knew it had been worse the two or three days before.
I had hopes that maybe I had started to mend. Never was a hope more ill-founded. No one had told me that sometimes a bug that gets up inside there, where it’s warm and wet, can take a day or two off to rest before coming on strong again. I would have been surprised to know it. I would have been even more
surprised to know that, in another fifteen or twenty years, there would be pills you could take that would smack that sort of infection out of your system in record time … and while those pills might make you feel a little sick at your stomach or loose in your bowels, they almost never made you vomit the way Dr.
Sadler’s sulfa pills did. Back in ’32, there wasn’t much you could do but wait, and try to ignore that feeling that someone had spilled coal-oil inside your works and then touched a match to it.
I finished my butt, went into the bedroom, and finally got to sleep. I dreamed of girls with shy smiles and blood in their hair.
6.
The next morning there was a pink memo slip on my desk, asking me to stop by the warden’s office as soon as I could. I knew what that was about – there were unwritten but very important rules to the game, and I had stopped playing by them for awhile yesterday – and so I put it off as long as possible. Like going to the doctor about my waterworks problem, I suppose. I’ve always thought this “get-it-over-with”
business was overrated.
Anyway, I didn’t hurry to Warden Moores’s office. I stripped off my wool uniform coat instead, hung it over the back of my chair, and turned on the fan in the corner – it was another hot one. Then I sat down and went over Brutus Howell’s night-sheet. There was nothing there to get alarmed about. Delacroix had wept briefly after turning in – he did most nights, and more for himself than for the folks he had roasted alive, I am quite sure – and then had take Mr. Jingles, the mouse, out of the cigar box he slept in. That had calmed Del, and he had slept like a baby the rest of the night. Mr. Jingles had most likely spent it on Delacroix’s stomach, with his tail curled over his paws, eyes unblinking. It was as if God had decided Delacroix needed a guardian angel, but had decreed in His wisdom that only a mouse would do for a rat like our homicidal friend from Louisiana. Not all that was in Brutal’s report, of course, but I had done enough night watches myself to fill in the stuff between the lines. There was a brief note about Coffey: