He began to grab double handfuls of hot dogs from the cart, which Johnny now
recognized as a portable steam table. He threw them into the crowd and went back for more. Hot dogs flew everywhere. ‘Hot dogs for every man, woman, and child in
America! And when you put Greg Stillson in the House of Representatives, you gonna say HOT DOG! SOMEONE GIVES A RIP AT LAST!’
The picture changed. The podium was being dismantled by a crew of long-haired young men who looked like rock band roadies. Three more of them were cleaning up the litter the crowd had left behind. George Herman resumed: ‘Democratic candidate David Bowes
calls Still-son a practical joker who is trying to throw a monkey-wrench into the workings of the democratic process. Harrison Fisher is stronger in his criticism. He calls Stillson a cynical carnival pitchman who is playing the whole idea of the free election as a burlesque-house joke. In speeches, he refers to independent candidate Stilison as the only member of the American Hot Dog party. But the fact is this: the latest CBS poll in New Hampshire’s third district showed David Bowes with twenty percent of the vote, Harrison Fisher with twenty-six – and maverick Greg Stillson with a whopping forty-two percent.
Of course election day is still quite a way down the road, and things may change. But for now, Greg Stillson has captured the hearts – if not the minds – of New Hampshire’s third-district voters.’
The TV showed a shot of Herman from the waist up. Both hands had been out of sight.
Now he raised one of them. and in it was a hot dog. He took a big bite.
‘This is George Herman, CBS News, in Ridgeway, New Hampshire.’
Walter Cronkite came back on in the CBS newsroom, chuckling. ‘Hot dogs,’ he said, and chuckled again. ‘And that’s the way it is – . -,
Johnny got up and snapped off the set. ‘I just can’t believe that,’ he said. ‘That guy’s really a candidate? It’s not a joke?’
‘Whether it’s a joke or not is a matter of personal interpretation,’ Roger said, grinning, ‘but he really is running. I’m a Republican myself, born and bred, but I must admit I get a kick out of that guy Stillson. You know he hired half a dozen ex-motorcycle outlaws as bodyguards?
Real iron horsemen. Not Hell’s Angels or anything like that, but I guess they were pretty rough customers. He seems to have reformed them.’
Motorcycle freaks as security. Johnny didn’t like the sound of that very much. The motorcycle freaks had been in charge of security when the Rolling Stones gave their free concert at Altamont Speedway in California. It hadn’t worked out so well.
‘People put up with a … a motorcycle goon squad?’
‘No, it really isn’t like that. They’re quite cleancut. And Stillson has a helluva reputation around Ridgeway for reforming kids in trouble.
Johnny grunted doubtfully.
‘You saw him,’ Roger said, gesturing at the TV set. ‘The man is a clown. He goes charging around the speaking platform, like that at every rally. Throws his helmet into the crowd – I’d guess he’s gone through a hundred of them by now – and gives out hot dogs.
He’s a clown, so what? Maybe people need a little comic relief from time to time. We’re runningout of oil, the inflation is slowly but surely getting out of control, the average
guy’s tax load has never been heavier, and we’re apparently getting ready to elect a fuzzy-minded Georgia cracker president of the United States. So people want a giggle or two.
Even more, they want to thumb their noses at a political establishment that doesn’t seem able to solve anything. Stillson’s harmless.’
‘He’s in orbit,’ Johnny said, and they both laughed.
‘We have plenty of crazy politicians around,’ Roger said. ‘In New Hampshire we’ve got Stillson, who wants to hot dog his way into the House of Representatives, so what? Out in California they’ve got Hayakawa. Or take our own governor, Meldrim Thomson. Last year he wanted to arm the New Hampshire National Guard with tactical nuclear weapons.
I’d call that big-time crazy.
‘Are you saying it’s okay for those people in the third district to elect the village fool to represent them in Washington?’