Somewhere behind her Johnny was calling her name, but she couldn’t answer just yet, didn’t want to. Her stomach was settling back down a little and for just a moment she wanted to stand here in the dark and congratulate herself on being alive, on having survived her night at the fair.
‘Sarah? Sarah!’
She spat twice to clear her mouth a little.
‘Over here, Johnny.’
He came around the carousel with its plaster horses frozen in mid-leap. She saw he was absently clutching a thick wad of greenbacks in one hand.
‘Are you all right?’
‘No, but better. I threw up.’
‘Oh. Oh, Jesus. Let’s go home.’ He took her arm gently.
‘You got your money.
He glanced down at the wad of bills and then tucked it absently into his pants pocket.
‘Yeah. Some of it or all of it, I don’t know. That burly guy counted it out.’
Sarah took a handkerchief from her purse and began rubbing her mouth with it. Drink of water, she thought. I’d sell my soul for a drink of water.
‘You ought to care,’ she said. ‘It’s a lot of money.’
‘Found money brings bad luck,’ he said darkly. ‘One of my mother’s sayings. She has a million of em. And she’s death on gambling.’
‘Dyed-in-the-wool Baptist,’ Sarah said, and then shuddered convulsively.
‘You okay?’ he asked, concerned.
‘The chills,’ she said. ‘When we get in the car I want the heater on full blast, and… oh, Lord, I’m going to do it again.’
She turned away from him and retched up spittle with a groaning sound. She staggered.
He held her gently but firmly. ‘Can you get back to the car?’
‘Yes. I’m all right now.’ But her head ached and her mouth tasted foul and the muscles of her back and belly all felt sprung out of joint, strained and achey.
They walked slowly down the midway together, scuffing through the sawdust, passing tents that had been closed up and snugged down for the night. A shadow glided up behind them and Johnny glanced around sharply, perhaps aware of how much money he had in his pocket.
It was one of the teenagers – about fifteen years old. He smiled shyly at them. ‘I hope you feel better,’ he said to Sarah. ‘It’s those hot dogs, I bet. You can get a bad one pretty easy.’
‘Ag, don’t talk about it,’ Sarah said.
‘You need a hand getting her to the car?’ he asked Johnny.
‘No, thanks. We’re fine.’
‘Okay. I gotta cut out anyway.’ But he paused a moment longer, his shy smile widening into a grin. ‘I love to see that guy take a beatin.’
He trotted off into the dark.
Sarah’s small, white station wagon was the only car left in the dark parking lot; it crouched under a sodium light like a forlorn, forgotten pup. Johnny opened the passenger door for Sarah and she folded herself carefully in. He slipped in behind the wheel and started it up.
‘It’ll take a few minutes for the heater,’ he said.
‘Never mind. I’m hot now.
He looked at her and saw the sweat breaking on her face. ‘Maybe we ought to trundle you up to the emergency room at Eastern Maine Medical,’ he said. ‘If it’s salmonella, it could be serious.’
‘No, I’m okay. I just want to go home and go to sleep, I’m going to get up just long enough tomorrow morning to call in sick at school and then go back to sleep again.’
‘Don’t even bother to get up that long. I’ll call you in, Sarah.’
She looked at him gratefully. ‘Would you?’
‘Sure.’
They were headed back to the main highway now. ‘I’m sorry I can’t come back to your place with you,’ Sarah said. ‘Really and truly.’
‘Not your fault.’
‘Sure it is. I ate the bad hot dog. Unlucky Sarah.’
‘I love you, Sarah,’ Johnny said. So it was out, it couldn’t be called back, it hung between them in the moving car waiting for someone to do something about it.
She did what she could. ‘Thank you, Johnny.’ They drove on in a comfortable silence.
CHAPTER TWO
1.
It was nearly midnight when Johnny turned the wagon into her driveway. Sarah was dozing.