SWEET M.Y.T.H.-TERY OF LIFE
by Robert Asprin
Chapter One:
“Is it just me, or does it seem to you I get more than my share of troubles?”
-JOB
“… AND SO, TO recap, the situation is this …”
I ticked the points off on my fingers, giving my audience a visual image to reinforce my words.
“First, Queen Hemlock wants me to be her consort. Second, she’s given me a month to think it over before I reach my decision. Third …”
I tapped the appropriate finger for emphasis.
“If I decide not to marry her, she says she’ll abdicate, naming me her successor and sticking me with the whole mess. Got that?”
Despite my concern over my predicament, I was nonetheless proud of my ability to address the problem head on, summarizing and analyzing it as I sought a solution. There was a time in the not too distant past when I simply would have lapsed into blind panic. If nothing else, my adventures over the years had done wonders for my confidence in my abilities to handle nearly any crisis.
“Gleep!” my audience responded.
Okay … so I wasn’t all that confident.
While I knew I could muddle through most crises, the one situation I dreaded the most was making a fool of myself in front of my friends and colleagues. While they had always been unswerving in their loyalty and willingness to bail me out of whatever mess I blundered into, that didn’t mean I was particularly eager to tax our friendships yet another time, even if it was just for advice. At the very least, I figured that when I did approach them, I should be as level-headed and mature about it as possible, rather than babbling hysterically about my woes. Consequently, I decided to rehearse my appeal in front of the one member of our crew I felt truly comfortable with . . . my pet dragon.