Sweet MYTH-tery of Life by Robert Asprin

“Get out of here, Boss,” he said quietly.

“What?”

At first I thought I had misunderstood him.

“Boss,” he hissed with aggravated patience. “I’m your bodyguard. Right? Well, as your bodyguard and the one currently responsible for the well bein’ of your continued health, I’m tellin’ you to get out of here!”

“But …”

Apparently Guido wasn’t willing to debate the point further. Instead, he scooped me up with his good arm and carried me out the door into the corridor, where he deposited me none too gently against the wall beside the doorway.

“Now stay here,” he said, shaking a massive finger in my face. “Got that? Stay here!”

I recognized the tone of his voice. It was the same as when I tried to give Gleep a simple command … for the third or fourth time after he had been steadfastly ignoring me. I decided I would try to prove that I was smarter than my pet by actually following orders.

“Okay, Guido,” I said, with a curt nod. “Here it is.”

He hesitated for a moment, eyeing me as if to see if I was going to make a break for the door. Then he gave a little nod of satisfaction, turned, and strode into my room, closing the door behind him.

While I couldn’t make out the exact words, I heard the arguing voices cease for a moment. Then they were raised again in angry chorus, punctuated by Guido’s voice saying something. Then there was silence.

After a few long moments of stillness, the door opened again.

“You can come in now, Boss,” my bodyguard announced. “They’re gone.”

I left my post by the wall and re-entered my room. A quick glance around was all it took to confirm my bodyguard’s claim. The Djins had departed for destinations unknown. Surprisingly enough, my immediate reaction was to be a little hurt that they hadn’t bothered to say goodbye.

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