Sweet MYTH-tery of Life by Robert Asprin

“Grimble put you back on the same day you came back from Perv,” Bunny said patiently. “But that has nothing to do with this. This is your budget for your financial consulting. Your magical fees are in a whole separate section.”

“But that’s ridiculous!”

“Oh Skeeve,” she grimaced, rolling her eyes slightly. “I’ve explained all this to you before. We have to keep the budgets for different kingdom operations on separate records to be able to track their performance accurately. Just like we have to keep the types of expenses within each operation in separate accounts. Otherwise . . .”

“No, I didn’t mean that it was ridiculous to keep them in separate sections,” I clarified hastily, before she could get settled into yet another accounting lesson. “I meant the budget itself was ridiculous.”

For some reason, this seemed to get Bunny even more upset rather than calming her down.

“Look, Skeeve,” she said stiffly. “I know you don’t understand everything Grimble and I are doing, but believe me, I don’t just make these numbers up. That figure for your budget is a reasonable projection, based on estimated expenses and current pay scales . . . even Grimble says it’s acceptable and has approved it. Realizing that, I’d be very cautious to hear the exact basis by which you’re saying it’s ridiculous.”

“You don’t understand, Bunny.” I said, shaking my head. “I’m not saying the number is ridiculous or inaccurate. What I mean is that it shouldn’t be there at all.”

“What do you mean?”

I was starting to feel like we were speaking in different languages, but pressed on bravely.

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