Sweet MYTH-tery of Life by Robert Asprin

While I had never shared Guide’s experience of being in an army, I had faced one once during my first assignment here at the court of Possiltum, and even earlier had been lynched by some soldiers acting as city guardsmen. Now, suddenly, I had visions of army troops with crossbows and catapults advancing on helpless citizens.

“I hadn’t really thought about it,” I said, “but I see your point.”

“Well, you know I don’t care much for meddlin’ in management type decisions,” Guido continued, “but I have a suggestion. I was thinkin’ you could maybe appoint someone from the army to specifically inspect and investigate the collectin’ process. You know, to be sure the army types didn’t get too carried away with their new duties.”

I really appreciated Guide’s efforts to come up with a solution, particularly as I didn’t have one of my own. Unfortunately, there seemed to be a bit of a flaw in his logic.

“Um … I don’t quite understand, Guido,” I said. “Isn’t it kind of pointless to have someone from the army watching over the army? I mean, what’s to say our inspector will be any different from the one’s he’s supposed to be policing?”

“Two things.” my bodyguard replied, flashing his smile for the first time since he entered the room. “First, I have someone specific in mind for the inspector . . . one of my old army buddies. Believe me, Boss, this person is not particularly fond or tolerant of the way the army does things. As a matter of fact, I’ve already had the papers drawn up to formalize the assignment. All you gotta do is sign ’em.”

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