Sweet MYTH-tery of Life by Robert Asprin

“Is it?” I said. “Is it really the best you can do?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, couldn’t you do as well or better trying your hand at something legitimate? What if I passed you enough money to start and run a normal business?”

The last vestige of my idealized fantasies regarding Luanna died as her lip curled in a sneer.

“You mean run a little shop or grocery store? Me? No thanks. That’s way too much like work. Funny, I always thought that if anyone would understand that, you would. You didn’t get where you are today by hard work and sweat, you did it by fleecing the gullible and flim-flamming the ignorant, just like Matt and I did . . . just on a larger scale. Of course, we didn’t have a demon helping us along, like you did. Even now, as rich and respectable as you’re supposed to be, I’ll bet you’re pulling down a healthy skim from this kingdom. It’s got to be real easy, what with having the Queen in your pocket and everybody doing whatever you say. All I’m trying to do is to cut myself in for a piece of the action . . . and a little piece, at that.”

I was silent for a few moments. I thought of trying to tell her about the long hours and work I and my team were putting in trying to straighten out the kingdom’s finances. I even considered showing her some of the cryptic spreadsheets on my desk . . . but decided against it. She might be able to decipher them, and if she could would doubtless ask some embarrassing questions about the hefty fee I was taking for my services. I was having trouble justifying that to myself, much less to her.

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