Sweet MYTH-tery of Life by Robert Asprin

The inescapable conclusion, however, was that no matter what I had thought lovely Luanna was like, we were worlds apart in our views of people and how they should be treated.

Reaching into our petty cash drawer, I started counting some coins.

“Tell you what, Luanna,” I said, not looking up. “You said you needed fifty to seventy-five in gold? Well I’m going to give you a hundred and fifty . . . double to triple what you asked for … not as a loan or an investment, just as a gift.”

“But why would you …”

“. . . There are two conditions, though,” I continued, as if she hadn’t spoken. “First, that you use some of the extra money for travel. Go off dimension or to another part of Klah … I don’t care. Just so long as when you start to run your swindle, it’s not in Possiltum.”

“Okay, but . . .”

“And second,” I said, setting the stack of coins on the edge of the desk near her, “I want you to promise that you will never see or speak to me . . . ever again . . . starting now.”

For a moment, I thought she was going to speak. She opened her mouth, then hesitated, shrugged, and shut it again. In complete silence she gathered up the coins and left, shutting the door behind her.

I poured myself another goblet of wine and moved to the window, staring out at the view without really seeing anything. Dreams die hard, but whatever romantic thoughts I had ever had involving Luanna had just been squashed pretty thoroughly. I couldn’t change that, but I could mourn their passing.

There was a soft knock at the door, and my heart took a sudden leap. Maybe she had changed her mind! Maybe she had thought it over and decided to return the money in favor of a legitimate business loan!

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